The Studio
by Rachel-Jane Kensington
Summary: Between loosing quidditch matches, a father who expects only the best from his son and an insensitive girlfriend, Cedric Diggory is having a bad day. But when he takes a walk to clear his mind, he might just find his saving grace.
1. Remember When It Rained

**A/N: **I hate these too so I'll try to make this one short and simple. Two things, 1) This came about for my amazing friend Taylor who is a dancer. That's about all she has in common with Shandie though. Anyways, I know it's sue-ish, but it was more for me and my friends than an audience. So, any kind of criticism is welcome. 2) From a lot of research I've done (mainly at the HP Lexicon) I've realized that Cedric was most likely in his 5th year when Harry was in his 3rd. Maybe it was only me who for the longest time believed Cedric was in his 7th year during the 4th book. But anyways, just so everyone is warned this story is slightly AU in the fact that Cedric will indeed be in his 7th year during the fourth book and hence is in his 6th year during this story as well as alreadyin a relationship with Cho. If you're not a fan of change, you'll please find that your back button might be utilized at this moment. Cheers everyone!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own nor claim to own anything associated with the Harry Potter franchise. All rights are reserved to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.

**Chapter One: Remember When It Rained**

_Crashing down, any chance you hear_

_Caving in, any chance that you could see inside of me _

_Everything you would change in me_

_I'm taking a chance, this could be different_

_This could be all I'm waiting for_

_This could be all I'm waiting for_

'_Different'- _By Acceptance

* * *

November 28th found Hogwarts in a gray drizzle that had already started when Cedric woke up and was going strong even after lunch, as he made his aimless way down a sixth floor corridor. He'd been walking around like this all day, his mind foggier than the condensation growing on the castle windows. 

Yesterday's quidditch match against Ravenclaw had been absolutely embarrassing. His team had been flattened and rather quickly at that. His friends offered nothing more than sympathetic glances where as Cho insisted she was too busy with schoolwork to listen to his quidditch woes. Easy for her to say…hers was the team which had flattened his own.

In all honesty his supposed girlfriend had been a frigid bitch lately. She shrunk away when he touched her, she barely kissed back when they shared a snog. All in all he was starting to wonder if her looks were becoming less than worth their weight.

Not that Cho wasn't a nice girl. He liked her fine. Their relationship just seemed so one sided where it really counted and Cedric needed more than that. He may have been a Huffelpuff who liked diplomacy and steered clear of drama, but that didn't mean drama didn't come looking for him. It liked to rear it's ugly head now and then, usually in the form of his father. Just that morning he'd received an owl from the old codger. It entailed that while Mr. Diggory was very proud of his son, his quidditch record was getting pitiful and that he'd need to step things up a bit with his team, be a proper captain. As if the young man hadn't beat himself up about it enough.

He and Oliver Wood had shared a few drinks the night previous, talking about life in general and the unfairness of it all as Gryffindor's obsessive quidditch captain perfected his manically scribbled plays. While Wood was a good sympathizer in the area of quidditch, all other matters of sensitivity were a bit out of his reach. No, Cedric was still finding himself wanton for a good friend to talk to. Some one he could selfishly count on to listen to him whine and bitch and tell him what he was doing right for a change instead of how he could improve. Or worse, fawning over him without any really thought toward what he wanted.

Not that Cedric didn't appreciate his fans…but they were just that: fans, not friends. The last thing he really needed was someone mindlessly purring _'Aww Ced, that's too bad.' _all the while with little else on their mind but pouncing him.

Which might have explained why, when he found Shandie McAndrews, he had no hope of her being any good for him. He had actually been rather disappointed to find that behind the barely opened door from which some classical masterpiece he couldn't quite place in his mind was drifting there was little to be found but another girl.

Where had this room come from anyway? He'd never known there was anything even mildly resembling a dance studio at Hogwarts. It seemed old and in need of a good scrub down, but the windows were large and it came complete with mirrors, bars and a hard wood floor. Across that hard wood floor was a girl, dark hair tied up in a tight pony tail, tan skin glossy with sweat. The soft flats she wore made a gentle padded sound when they hit the ground repeatedly. A far cry from the school uniform Cedric was donned in, she wore black sweats and an equally dark camisole top.

But it wasn't her attire that made it impossible for Cedric to move his feet, no matter how little he felt like interacting with the female species. It was the way she was moving. Her body just kept twisting and rounding and moving, never stopping and seemingly never breathing. There was some kind of art to what she was doing.

It wasn't words…or pictures…it was sort of both. Like the sort of language best friends share, where no words need be exchanged but perfect understanding is shared. Almost like the music, which emanated from a grand piano in the corner opposite him which had apparently been enchanted to play on its own, was being translated into the arches of her arms, the gentle curve of her spine, the way she twirled on her toes and then leapt into another set of liquid looking steps.

There was something enchanting about watching her dance. Wondering what she would do next, invigorated by the extremities of what she was doing in that moment. He could feel a small rush of adrenaline building up in his veins just from observing her.

And then, as she was in the middle of a turn that ended with the young girl bending backwards, she caught sight of Cedric standing oddly out of place in the door way. Nearly loosing her balance, Shandie had been lucky for the railing just beside her as she grabbed a hold of it, scowling at the boy on the far side of the room as she lifted herself straight again.

"What are you doing here?" her tone didn't exactly suggest that she wanted to be friendly. While that was refreshing for Cedric it wasn't very inviting.

"I was just out walking and I, er, I heard music. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude."

"Well, staring is rude." she told him, her tone a bit softer and forgiving this time as she picked up her wand from the piano bench it was laying on and silenced the ivory keyed instrument.

"I didn't know Hogwarts had a dance studio." He invited himself in, marveling at the space around him as his steps brought him closer to this girl he had never met before. Funny that, she looked to be about his age. Thanks to her dance wear he had no way of knowing which house she was in either. From her snappy tone he might have guessed Slytherin.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked, still rather rudely as he admired the drapes by the floor to ceiling windows. Rain was still sloshing indignantly over the glass panes and the sky remained the same dark gray hue. Cedric turned to face her again, embarrassed at having forgotten his manners.

"I don't think we've met actually, I'm Diggory, er, that is, _Cedric_ Diggory, of Huffelpuff." he corrected himself as a mild blush decorated his cheeks.

She cracked her first smile (albeit reluctantly) and extended a hand, "Shandie McAndrews, Ravenclaw."

"It's nice to meet you Shandie. Sorry if I bothered you earlier I was just watching you dance and it was, well, I've never really seen any one dance before. Like that I mean, ya know, something other than ballroom dancing."

"Did you like it?" she was surprised, most guys thought what she did was too flighty to be interesting.

"Yah, I really did." he admitted.

Her smile grew and she found herself turning and going for her water bottle to hide it.

"I've been dancing since I was four. Imagine my delight when I found out Hogwarts used to have a ballet club and this room was the carnage it left behind."

"What happened to the club?" Cedric had followed her to the left wall where her duffel bag was lying in a blue heap.

Shandie shrugged, taking another gulp of water, "Not enough interest I suppose. I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl who was avid enough to go to the deputy headmistress requesting a spare classroom to practice in and she showed me this place."

"Do you practice often?"

His question made Shandie quirk an eyebrow, "You're the captain of your quidditch team, right?"

"Sure am." he nodded proudly.

"And do **_you_** practice often?" her question was nearly a laugh.

Cedric bobbed his head in acknowledgement, a sheepish smile still playing on his mouth.

"Don't worry about it, people have asked me questions much more idiotic than that." she patted his shoulder, taking another swig of water, "So what had you wandering the halls on a day like this? Shouldn't you be cozying up by a fire place with your girlfriends?"

"Girlfriends," he gave her a playfully surprised look, "What makes that a plural noun all of a sudden?"

She shrugged, "Some one like yourself, good looking, popular, captain of his quidditch team. I dunno, that doesn't really say one-woman-man to me. I'd think you'd be playing it up, what with half of Hogwarts throwing themselves at you."

"No," he chuckled, "I think you've got me confused with Roger Davies, captain of **_your_** quidditch team."

"Oh," she smiled, "Guess I've never had the chance to be exposed to such a gentleman as yourself then." Shandie teased.

"That's right," Cedric played along, "You don't know Shan, I might even be single."

"You might even be gay with Oliver Wood." she laughed over her shoulder as she started throwing her things into her bag.

"Are you leaving?" It was then that Cedric realized perhaps he'd found the friend he'd been looking for. Why else would he be so reluctant to see her walk away from him?

"Well, I **_was _**going to go and study but if you've got something better to offer me…" she shrugged.

"A nice chat with a guy who honestly just wants to talk and not work his way into your pants." he said, hoping that if he laid his cards out on the table she'd be more apt to agree. Ever the Huffelpuff, Cedric liked to think that the truth was his best tool. And he was right. He'd impressed upon her his good intentions and a sweetness she couldn't just ignore. Besides, who was she to turn down a guy who needed a good chat?

"Okay." Shandie agreed, getting up from squatting beside her duffel to sit against the wall. He followed suit, taking his seat beside her.

"Thank you, I assure you it's much appreciated."

"Oh? And why is that?" she inquired.

Cedric gave a heavy sigh laden with the frustrations of the last 24 hours. "Didn't you see the quidditch game yesterday? Hufflepuff lost miserably."

"So you've been moping about it in the hallways?" she asked, very little sympathy strung in her tone.

"I haven't been moping…I've been thinking."

"About what? The things you should have done during yesterday's game? How perhaps you aren't a fit captain?" she sighed, "I've never liked quidditch much and I don't know much about it, but you run a fine team Cedric. Don't worry over it. You have to lose every now and then."

"It wouldn't be so bad except everything seems to come down on you at once. My father's already sent me a note about needing to work harder. I already do work hard, I run practices five times a week. Tell me that isn't proper dedication!"

"Five nights a week? You're a prefect too, aren't you?" she asked, noticing the small, shiny badge pinned to his uniform.

"Thank-you! That's what I've been trying to tell him. Do you know I barely got any sleep the night before the game because I had bloody duties! I was patrolling the halls until at least 11, after practice of course, and **then** I had _homework_!"

"You're going to kill yourself! And with all the stress you're laying on your shoulders from losin' that game…you need a good snog, is what you need. Can't imagine it would be too hard to get one with all those girls fancying a piece of you." She smirked.

"Yah…" he chuckled lightly at the irony. "That's another part of my problem. Those girls scare me sometimes. They bat their eyelashes and flash me smiles, but they don't know me. How can they possibly want anything to do with me if they haven't gotten to _know _me?"

"Because they're slags?" Shan took another sip of water.

"Must be. And then the only girl who even seemed worth my time doesn't seem to think I'm worthy of any of hers."

"Who's that?"

"My girlfriend, Cho." Cedric told her.

"Just the one then?" she smirked.

"**Yes**, just the one." He shook his head, smiling, "Though I'm not really sure if she counts since she won't have anything to do with me lately. I think she has eyes for her quidditch captain, Roger."

"Oh you mean Cho _Chang_, of Ravenclaw?"

"Is there another?" he asked.

"No," she half laughed at her stupidity, "I guess I just didn't put the two together. I didn't know you two were even dating." She shrugged.

"For a Ravenclaw you're not very nosy."

"Why do you say that?" she looked at him, surprised.

"Well all that knowledge seeking comes at a price: you're terrible gossips." He grinned.

"Actually now come to think of it, you're rather right about that one. My friends seem to spread rumors like wildfire over dry grass."

"Not you?"

She shrugged, "I don't mind a spot of gossip. Actually, I'll admit, I rather enjoy it. It's just that my mind is usually somewhere completely different."

"Your dancing?"

"Precisely. I might as well be in this room all day for the amount of time I spend on routines in my head."

The rain had let up some, though it was still happily hitting the windows and the sky itself had only grown darker. It was very quiet, save for the voices of the couple on the floor. The faint squares of light coming in through the glass window panes did little to illuminate the space around them and Cedric found himself using his wand to set a few candelabras alight. The warm glow complimented Shandie's tan hide and reflected a golden glare off of her dark hair.

"I wish I loved quidditch that much." A sigh left Cedric's mouth at his lack of passion.

"Why do you work so hard at it if you don't enjoy it?"

"It's not that I don't enjoy it. That makes it sound like a bad thing. It's just…it's not what I'm meant to do. I tried out because it sounded like fun and because it gave me something to do. A way to expel excess energy. And then somehow I got asked to be captain of the team, and of course I was thrilled. I mean what kind of guy turns that down?"

"A boy who doesn't realize how much responsibility and work that is, that's who." She gave him a wry smirk, downing another sip of water.

"Yah," he nodded thoughtfully, thinking back on his juvenile self, "I got myself into all kinds of trouble with that one. Though I still like playing quidditch. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. It's just not what I'm passionate about. I don't think I'll ever wake up thinking about quidditch and I doubt I'll ever start drawing up plays for fun, like Oliver does. It's just not my niche."

Shandie shrugged, "That's okay that you haven't found that yet. I mean at least you're not lying to yourself and trying to force yourself to love being quidditch captain."

"I guess." He shrugged, taking her words more to heart than he was willing to show. Cedric definitely appreciated that this girl understood where he was coming from and the fact that she was validating his feelings meant so much right then.

"You just need to chill out a little. You're a Hufflepuff, you're supposed to be laid back." She smiled.

"Oh I am! Most of the time. I'm just a hard worker is all. I always have been. I'm kind of a perfectionist like that."

"I've noticed." She said softly, still smiling. She had a cute smile, Cedric thought. "That's what sucks about being a golden boy; you're _good_ at _everything_ instead of **spectacular** at **just one thing**."

"You say that like you know what it's like."

"Eh, I've never been much of a perfectionist when it comes to anything but dance. I beat myself up about my dancing, but my schoolwork is another story."

"I thought you were a Ravenclaw." He teased her.

"I most certainly am. That doesn't make me obsessive about my studies. That makes me an avid and quick learner. I like soaking up information, it's doing the work that comes after that which kills me."

"What's your favorite class?" he asked.

"Transfiguration." She answered almost immediately. "It's hands on and energy consuming and a right challenge. It takes more focus than my dancing sometimes. That and we've used thimbles before."

Cedric quirked an eyebrow, giving her a questioning look. Her smile grew to a grin.

"I guess I didn't mention that I collect thimbles."

"No," he chuckled at her randomness, "No, I believe you left that out."

"I know, I know. It's a weird hobby."

"No! Well…okay, yah." He admitted awkwardly and they both laughed softly. "But at least it's interesting! Cho collects crystal swans." He had trouble not making a mildly repulsed face.

"That's nice." Shandie yawned. She hadn't meant to be rude, but she knew it sounded that way and Cedric smirked at her nonetheless. "I didn't mean it to sound as horrible as it did." She insisted, "Though I will say, that's the most boring thing I've ever heard of a girl collecting. Does it mean anything to her?"

"Umm, I'm not sure actually. Probably does and I've just forgotten."

"Well, don't you two sound in love." Shan rolled her eyes.

"Yah, most of the school expects us to be. It's kind of annoying actually, them acting like it's any of their business."

"Well you can't have even been dating for very long, can you?" she found herself wondering just how far behind the times she was.

"Only about a month, really. And we were only supposed to be dating, not quite going steady yet. But somehow Cho's friends convinced her I was madly in love with her and that she felt that way too. So, here we are."

"A month into the relationship and already the magic's fading." Shandie sighed wistfully, laying a heavy hand over her heart as though it were dramatically painful. Cedric chuckled, looking down at his lap and fiddling with his hands. "Was there ever even any magic to begin with?"

Her question caught him off guard and he had to think for a few moments before he spoke, choosing his words carefully. Finally he nodded, albeit silently at first.

"She's soft and bright and just so…I don't even know what to call it. She reminds me of my mother's pearls."

"And hey, only real pearls have grit, right?"

Cedric rolled his eyes, "She's really not as bad as I've made her sound. She's just…amazingly insensitive at times."

"You'd think most guys would dig that. After all, the male species does have a reputation for being under sensitive."

"Yah well, guys like getting attention too. And I don't think I'm half as bad as she is. Cho's extremely and exclusively sensitive about **_her _**feelings. She can be like a human faucet when something _sentimental _happens or when _she's_ under stress. Which I don't mind so much. It makes me feel worth something to help her through those times. But she could do nicely to return the favor every now and then."

"I completely agree with you." she nodded, "There's a balance that comes with being cared for. Just like there's a responsibility that comes with being quidditch captain."

"Exactly! I wish she'd see it that way. I'm not even sure she notices half the time, though."

"Are you a romantic?" Shan's smile was very small but rather provocative at the same time as she inquired him with her words and her eyes alike.

Cedric blushed. His friends liked to give him a hard time about how sensitive he could be.

"Well, occasionally yeah." he admitted begrudgingly.

"I knew it." her smile grew intensely but her tone remained soft, "You seem like the type. I've never heard a guy talk about how insensitive his girlfriend's being. Maybe oversensitive but…" her eyes grew wide when she realized he had sighed and was frowning at the wall opposite them. "No, no! It's not a bad thing at all. It's really sweet actually…but ya know, in a macho way."

Cedric turned to look at her with his eyebrow cocked. "Nice save." He murmured.

She flashed him an apologetic smile. "I really didn't mean it in a bad way."

"I know you didn't, it's just that it's kind of the running joke among my friends that I'm soft. It kinda makes you grit your teeth after a while."

"Ya know what; I think they're just jealous. Girls love it when a guy is sensitive. I bet your friends only wish they were too."

"That's part of my problem with all the girls around school. I just can't get physical with a girl if there's no emotional foundation first, which kills my friends by the way. They think I'm a git."

"**_I_** think you just don't want to see anyone get hurt, including yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that."

"It can be frustrating as hell though." He smirked.

"I'll bet. I actually sort of get what you're saying, though. That's why I haven't had a boyfriend since second year, and trust me, that was a pathetic mess." Shandie rolled her eyes, taking another swig from the water bottle that Cedric had forgotten she had by then.

"What happened?" he asked. Shan, who had been slumped back against the wall, sat up straighter now, folding her legs in to sit Indian style.

"Well, it all happened too fast first of all. Blake and I were actually best friends after having just met two months previous and when we went to Hogsmeade that Christmas he kissed me in Madame Rosmerta's out of no where. Our friends had gotten up to go check out something Hagrid had brought in and was showing off near the bar, and I swear the second we were alone he just leaned over and kissed me." She shrugged and looked down at her water bottle. It was enchanted never to loose its chill nor ever to empty so she still had plenty.

"And…?" he pushed the matter when she grew silent in the middle of her tale.

"And I was stupid and kissed him back. Well, as best as I could. I'd never been kissed before, so it was kind of awkward, I mean we were only 12."

Cedric's face contorted to very mild disgust mixed with understanding. As he nodded,

Shan couldn't help but get caught up in the way the warm glow of the candle light seemed to shimmer like lightning in his stormy, gray eyes. And she wondered for a moment if this is how Blake had felt when he had wanted to kiss her all those years ago. Because if it was, she certainly couldn't blame him.

"Well how old were you when you got your first kiss?" she interrogated, playfully annoyed by his reaction at the thought of 12 year olds kissing.

"Nine and a half." He chuckled.

"Heh, figures." She giggled, taking another sip of water. She only sipped like this when she was nervous. Was she nervous? Or possibly just excited?

"Yah, I was playing with this girl Amelia, we used to go out onto the hills surrounding the lake behind her house and just run around for hours. And one afternoon she tripped and fell on top of me as she started tumbling down the side of this hill. We were screaming and laughing at the same time, just somersaulting down this hill, getting scraped and dirty. And we finally stopped beside each other. And I just remember laying there, staring up at the clouds and feeling the sunshine on my face and breathing hard and then she just leaned over me and smiled and pecked me on the lips."

Shandie couldn't get over how he was smiling uncontrollably at the memory. It was cute and endearing and sweet and she wondered if he'd ever think of her some day and smile like that. Probably not, she reasoned with herself. But somehow she really wanted it to be so.

"What happened to her?" she asked, wondering if there was some adorable, cutesy love story to follow. The smile on Cedric's lips hardened and he looked down at his hands.

"Her dad died when she was 10. Her and her mom moved away to live closer to her grandmother. I haven't seen her since." His shoulders giving up a sad, depressing shrug.

"Cedric…" Shandie looked over at him, a heart broken look shadowing her features, "I'm so sorry." She breathed, leaning over and wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back and she swallowed at the warm touch of his fingers as they slid around her waist.

"Thanks." He forced a tight lipped smile as they separated.

"Was she a witch? Was she supposed to have come to Hogwarts?"

"No, no, just a muggle. Though her mother was a witch, that's how our families knew one another. Her father was a muggle as well, which is probably why she turned out a squib. Wonderful girl though, always smiling and mischievous. I followed her everywhere, she was always a leader."

Shan took a deep breath and struggled with the words she said next, "Did you love her?"

"I still do." He answered quietly, solemnly. "I know it's silly. To keep holding on to her."-

"No! She must have been nearly like your sister."

He nodded at this, "And it's not like I angst about it. I just hope she's alright, and I never properly filled that place I had for her in my heart, I guess you could say…"

Shan nodded. "Did they stay long enough for the funeral?"

"Yah, though it was rather awkward. It was mostly family there and we were the only children. She wouldn't even look at me and she barely spoke a word. She seemed like a bottle of emotion all stopped up, holding it in. That's why I just pray she turned out all right."

There wasn't much Shandie could say and it took her a few moments to come up with a response, "I'm sure she's happy. Maybe the move even helped her, you know make a fresh start. Leave all the hurt behind."

Cedric nodded, "I hope so."

"And maybe it's for the best that she left. I mean, if she'd stayed she might have stopped wanting to go outside and play for a few months. I know I would have. And that would have been wretched for you to watch."

Again, he nodded. The sky had grown ever darker and he wondered what time it was. It felt like night already though he knew it couldn't be. Hadn't he only come in here a little while before? A few moments of silence passed between them. Shandie could think of no words to say and Cedric hadn't bothered to try to think of any. Until finally he remembered something he'd wanted to ask about.

"So what happened to you and Blake?"

Shandie couldn't help but roll her eyes again, "That stupid **_ass_**!" she sighed heavily, shaking her head, "He would bounce back and forth between stoic as hell and hornier than a rhinoceros. It got so aggravating. I seriously wonder if he wasn't bipolar. Like one minute he'd be trying to get me to snog him while **_I _**was trying to study and then like an hour later when I was done with my homework he'd want to do something purely idiotic like **_read_** together."

Cedric burst out laughing. "Are you-are you serious?" he asked between breaths.

"Completely and utterly. Oh, it was so sad." Though she couldn't stop the spreading grin on her face when he laughed.

"Shandie…" he laughed again, "He wanted to **_read _**with you?"

"Yah! I know! And not even like poetry or anything romantic like that. Just reading! Once he even pulled out his History text book! I was like…did you need some help with Professor Binns' class?"

Her company chuckled the last bit of humor from his system, calming down shortly.

"And that's the only relationship you've been in?" he asked after a few moments, a gentle smirk playing on his lips.

"Sad, isn't it? But it's no one's fault but my own. I don't think I **_let _**anyone notice me. I throw myself as deep into my dancing as possible and sort of shut the rest of the world out." she shrugged, her voice growing quiet.

"_I_ noticed you." his eyes on her felt different suddenly, more intense, "And I'm really glad I did."

The side of Shandie's mouth picked up in a one-sided smile. "You're the first in a long while, I'll tell ya."

Beyond the door they could hear a small pack of young, female students laughing as they dashed down the corridor. It caught the pair off guard and reminded them that they weren't alone in Hogwarts Castle.

"I should be heading back, it's getting really dark. My friend's will be looking for me."

"Along with Cho." The reminder stung them both as she'd mumbled it and stood, dusting off her sweats.

"I can't tell you how much your time meant to me. I really needed someone to talk to." he told her earnestly as he dusted his own trousers off.

"Save it golden boy." she smirked, "I had a good time too."

"So, I'll see you around?" he looked hopeful as he backed away towards the door.

"Yah," she sighed, forcing herself to nod. In her heart she knew she would never see this boy again and that it was senseless to dwell on it, hope for it.

"Alright, well…have a good night." he murmured in her ear as he caught her off guard with a farewell hug. She barely had time to wrap her own arms around him by the time she realized what was happening.

"You too." she replied breathlessly as he pulled back and with barely a glance back over his shoulder, began walking off down the hallway. Shandie turned to get her things together, trying so hard to forget the way he smelled like butterscotch.

"Oh, hey Shandie?" when she lifted her head from pulling out her uniform so she could change in the bathroom just down the hall, he was back in the doorway looking mildly embarrassed. "How often do you come around here?"

"I try to come most every afternoon, why?"

"Just don't be surprised if I stop by again soon." he gave her a last warm smile before strolling off with his hands in his pockets.


	2. A Fear of the Dark

Sorry this chapter is so short. The next one is as long as the first though, so no worries! ;) Thanks to all the reviewers, you guys are awesome!

**Chapter Two: A Fear of the Dark**

_Accidents happen in the strangest of places  
How come they happen at all  
__Look for the turning for something or nothing _

_I won't let go because I need you so _

_-_'_Army of Lovers'- Lee Ryan

* * *

_

"Trouble in paradise?" From the mirror that flanked each wall of her coveted dance studio Shan had caught a glimpse of Cedric's form as he stood and watched her from the doorway once more. It had been nearly a week since they're first meeting and neither had spoken a word to the other in the halls. They did however seem to find themselves catching each other's gazes at scant intervals during meals and in the corridors. Cedric's friends conveniently mistook the reason behind his occasional glances towards the great hall's Ravenclaw table for Cedric's supposed infatuation with Cho. Miss Chang had in fact been much more amiable now that her boyfriend wasn't in need of so much attention. He had Shandie to thank for that and he found himself uncharacteristically eager to do so.

"No." As Cedric shook his head softly it was accompanied by a gentle smile, "Everything's fine."

Shandie had been keeping her gaze firmly ahead of her as she stretched and practiced positions at the barre. At the realization however that Cedric had come to see her for very little apparent reason at all she came down from standing on the balls of her feet and relaxed her calves. Her eyes roved to the door as he began waking in, his hands shoved in his pockets, his white, oxford shirt untucked and his tie loosened. She couldn't help but smirk at how adorably ruffled he appeared. His cheeks were catching red, as though they'd been harassed by the winter wind whipping around outside and his honey brown hair had obviously been run through many times with his hands that day.

"You know, I never thought I'd actually see you again." she did her best to smile at him as he took the liberty of standing so close to her she could have counted his eyelashes if she'd wanted to.

"I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant it." he told her gently, feeling somewhat dejected at her not having thought his words sincere.

"I'll remember that." she murmured.

"So, what was that you were doing?" he threw a pointer finger in the general direction of her previous place at the barre. Because it was after dinner, the dark that threatened to swallow Hogwarts whole was only fought off by the candle lit chandelier hanging from the very center of the ceiling, along with the host of candelabras on the walls.

"It's called _pas de cheval_, here let me show you." She went back to the barre and took up the standard frame once more. "You start with your working leg in pointe tendu"-

"Pardon?"

Shandie smiled, "Sorry, _pointe tendu_," she spoke clearly and slowly "That's what we call it when your working leg is stretched out straight with only your toes touching the floor."

He nodded, quickly catching on, "So, point…tandoo?"

"Close enough," her smile grew and she shook her head as she continued on, "So you have your working leg in pointe tendu and then you"-

"Sorry, but what's your working leg?" he asked hesitantly, nearly wincing from having to stop her again. She only nodded at herself, mentally chiding her neglect of his lack of knowledge.

"Not a problem, your working leg is the leg you're using to perform at any given moment. Like right now I'm using my right leg as my working leg." She demonstrated this as she lifted it forward and then slid it back to her calve while her left foot stayed docile.

"Got it," he nodded eagerly, his focus momentarily switching to her eyes before back down at her feet.

"Good, now once you have your working leg in pointe tendu," she recited for the third time, "Then you draw it along the floor back to the supporting leg, that's the one which _isn't_ performing. Then, without pausing, you move it up to the smallest part of your calve, which we call _le cou-de-pied _and then back out to pointe in a small revolution. It's supposed to resemble the pawing of a horse on the ground, that's where it gets its name."

"What do you call it when you,…when you jump?" he demonstrated a small skip to the side which landed in a pathetic imitation of first position. Doing a poor job of stifling a giggle, Shandie moved out onto the floor beside him at an arm's width apart. From force of habit her arms took to rising so they were level with her shoulders and she performed a tiny, steady hop in the same direction Cedric had taken.

"It's called _une petite sauté_, which is a small leap **_from_** both feet that **_lands _**on both feet as well."

"Are there different kinds?" he frowned, not clear on what she meant.

"Well, there are five types of jumps. _Sautés,_ which are jumps off of two feet onto two feet. _Changements_, which are jumps from two feet to two feet in fifth or third position, changing which foot is in front. _Sisonnes_ which are jumps from two feet to one foot. _Jetés_, jumps from one foot to the other. _Temps levés_ are jumps from one foot which land on that same foot, and _assemblés_ are jumps from one foot where the legs "assemble" in the air."

"That's a lot of French to wrap your head around." Poor Cedric's mind seem to be dizzy from the sheer amount of it.

"Ballet is all French, I could probably hold a decent conversation with a dancer from Paris and we'd understand each other perfectly."

"Have you learned anything other than ballet?" he inquired.

"I've dipped my hand into some ballroom and a little alternative. Some jazz here and there...I took a summer course on the highland step once." she shrugged.

He nodded, mentally taking note of her words.

"I'm glad I found this place again," he looked out of one of the window panes. Silver-blue moonlight shimmered on the lake that seemed to be breathing with it's calm, steady tide. "I had begun to wonder if meeting you was just a figment of my imagination." he offered her a sheepish smile when he turned his gaze to face her as she took her place back at the barre and began practicing changements.

"Why do you say that?" she questioned.

"Well you're not in any of my classes for a start."

"We're in two completely different houses." she nearly laughed.

"I have _two_ classes with sixth year Ravenclaws. **Cho** **_loves_** it." he grumbled.

"There's your answer. I'm a **_seventh_** year." she explained, amused by his disgruntled reference to his girlfriend.

The young Huffelpuff at the window didn't say anything. He was rather disappointed by this latest bit of news. Not long afterwards however, it occurred to him that he had nothing to be put out about since this girl was just a casual friend and nothing more. Somehow that didn't change his discontentment level.

"What are you staring at out there?" she inquired, smiling innocently as she stood unaware of his thoughts.

Cedric shrugged, his arms folded over his chest. "Just the grounds. It's nearly a full moon tonight."

"Is it? I hadn't noticed. I love the moonlight though…" she leaned forward so she was eye level with her knee while her left leg stretched up behind her so she was nearly achieving a standing split. His gray eyes flickered over her lithe figure as she twisted it delicately. Warmth crept up his neck and he quickly turned back towards the window when he realized the thin material of her shirt combined with the position she took when bending forward, allowed him quite a view of her chest. Worse still, he was blushing because his first response had definitely been a positive one.

"I've never liked moonlight much. I mean it's nice. But I love the sun. Sunlight is such a relief."

Shandie took a deep breath as she straightened her back once more, "How do you mean?" she asked before leaning forward once more in a repeat of the same position, this time stretching her right leg upwards.

"It's brighter. It's warm. It means the day is all around you and you're safe."

"Safe from what?" she asked, rising again and straightening her white camisole.

"From the dark. From night." he only realized just how childish he sounded once he'd spoken. Turning away from the window once more, this time completely, he tried to redeem himself, "What I mean is"-

She had been walking towards him, finished cooling down and stretching, and now found herself in front of him. Her hand seemed bolder than her heart as her fingertips gently came to rest on his lips, silencing him.

"What you mean is from the unknown." she took her hand away while her eyes however stayed docile, unable to leave his own.

"I don't know why I let it bother me. It's just silly nonsense you hear about in stories as a child." he chuckled to himself.

"Isn't love just like that though? Silly nonsense we hear about in stories as children?" her eyes were bright with a passionate longing to make him see he wasn't being immature. "And yet we invest so much time searching for it. Pining for it day after day. It's not nonsense Cedric, if it makes you feel something, how can you call it nonsense? It **_means _**something to you."

A silence brimming with thought and wonder filled the space between them. He had never known such validation and benevolence in a companion. For once in his life he felt as though he didn't have to try and please someone, it was enough for him simply to be himself.

"I've always been afraid of the dark." he murmured. "Or rather, what might be hiding in the dark."

"I like to think I have a healthy respect for dark and the night." Shan went to the window and gazed out at the moonlit grounds. "But it's just so beautiful on nights like this. It's the moonlight that does it. I'm blind to fear when she's watching over everything in the sky like that. She's like a mother."

"I wish I could see it like that…it all just looks eerie to me. The lake seems to breathe like an organ. The way the clouds drift by like that, it almost seems foreboding in a way."

As they stood at the window she turned to look at her new friend. Were they really friends so fast or was the term acquaintances more appropriate? Funnily enough, even the term 'friend' didn't seem to do justice to what she felt when she was with him, beside him like this. So close she could feel the warmth emanating from his skin.

"Then we won't look at it." she took the drapes firmly and pulled them across the floor to ceiling panes of glass, snuffing out the squares of moonlight on the hard wood floor. Now only flickering candle light remained.

The golden glow caught the surprised smirk on Cedric's mouth as he watched her. Shan seemed full of little amazing wonders like that. Out of no where she'd do something to make him feel more at home in her dance studio than he ever had in the dorm he'd occupied for the last six years. And it was times like those when he felt guilty, as though these feelings which his heart shared with no one but his mind were as good as cheating on Cho flat out.

"How's quidditch practice going?" she asked, beginning to get her things together.

"It's alright." Cedric forced a shrug as he walked to the corner she was in. "Everyone's rather discouraged obviously. I mean it's hard to be enthusiastic about working hard when there's really not much to work hard towards."

Shandie nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry. If it's any consolation we never would have met if you hadn't lost that game to Ravenclaw." she reminded him softly, standing and tying her shrug sweater just under her chest after lifting her duffle bag onto her shoulder. His smile was faint and flickered out almost as quickly as it had come. "That's not enough is it?" she sighed softly as she started out the door and down the hall. Cedric followed, keeping her same slow pace.

"It is and it isn't at the same time." he knew he should have explained more but the complication of telling Shandie about feelings he himself wasn't even sure about scared his tongue into stillness. How could he explain that having her as a friend was costing him the heavy conscious Huffelpuffs were known for?

"Would you care to elaborate on that?" she pried hopefully.

Cedric stopped at a nearby window and sighed. "I just want to make everyone happy and right now I feel like I'm screwing things up no matter what I do."

"Cedric you need to calm down about quidditch. I've heard your father brag about you, the whole school has. He's proud of you"-

"This isn't just about him." he cut in shortly, avoiding her eyes.

"Well what then?" she asked, growing impatient.

"It's complicated and it's late as well." he squinted at his wristwatch double checking that he had the time right, "I should be getting back to the cellars. I'll see you around?"

"Yah, sure." she did her best not to grumble before her heart melted in spite of itself when Cedric leaned down to hug her goodbye. "Have a good night Cedric."

"You as well, don't let it be another week before I see you again."


	3. Come Fly With Me

**Chapter Three: Come Fly With Me**

_Just a day, just an ordinary day  
Just tryin' to get by  
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy  
But he was looking to the sky  
And as he asked if I would come along  
I started to realize that everyday he finds  
Just what he's looking for,  
Like a shooting star he shines_

"_Ordinary Day" -_Vanessa Carlton

* * *

Wednesday brought ferocious winds swooping down over the highlands, across the lake and into the quidditch pitch. Much to the annoyance of the entire Huffelpuff quidditch team the gale was very much enjoying slapping them around as they tried to gain some progress with their practice that evening. To say the least, it wasn't going quite as well as they would have liked. Shandie McAndrews was standing in the archway leading off of the pitch and towards the Huffelpuff locker rooms. She had hiked around the grounds towards the field about ten minutes earlier in a frustrated rut at having failed her second Arithmancy test in a row. The only numbers she had ever been very handy with were the ones she used when counting beats and steps out on the dance floor, otherwise she was useless. It seemed the harder she tried the worse she got and it was starting to frustrate her near to tears. Oddly enough the first person she'd thought to go to had been Cedric.

Shandie didn't go outside much, though her light tan seemed to state otherwise it was more from dancing in the warmth of her studio's sunlit windows than from making any kind of acquaintance with mother nature. She didn't even attend most of the quidditch games, preferring instead to use her spare time as she always did: dancing. She knew she was predictable but she didn't mind so much as long as she was happy. And at the moment she was…somehow or another.

Gracing nature with her presence on purpose perhaps about ten times a year meant she wasn't used to strong winds or weather that wasn't temperate. This had caused her to bundle up something fierce against the harsh winds of winter that permeated her many layers of clothing regardless. She'd felt somewhat silly at first as she watched the bullets of canary yellow shoot across the sky in scant else but quidditch robes. But after a while she realized they were sweating from working out so hard whilst she merely stood and watched and therefore they wouldn't need as much protection as she. Even after that thought faded she still felt funny just standing there, watching them. She wondered if any of them saw her and wondered what she thought she was doing. To her mild disgust she soon realized there were small groups of girls scattered through the stadium seats and it didn't take much common sense to realize why they were all giggling and whispering to one another. The lot of them were watching Cedric practice. They were fanning themselves as they sat and watched him sweat. Those girls fantasized about him in the same way she had been doing lately. And somehow, she hated them all. She wanted them to leave her Cedric alone.

**_Her _**Cedric? This was getting ridiculous…

As Shandie really began to watch him though, the girls (along with the stadium, the rest of the team, and hell, all of Hogwarts) seemed to fade away into disillusionment. He seemed so concentrated, so graceful up in the air. Her eyes traced every zig-zag and loop and dive as though he were a bumblebee of sorts. Although she'd never seen a bumblebee quite so attractive…

Shandie laughed softly at herself, suddenly finding the flags standing guard around the pitch very interesting to stare at. Thankfully she couldn't blush since her cheeks were already red from the harsh wind but the realization that she had just been fangirling over her school's prominent golden boy and campus catch made her feel very ill-at-ease.

"Alright, we did our best today. Good work everyone, I'll see you all bright and early Sunday morning." Practice was over and Shandie came back from her thoughts just as Cedric was dismissing his team. "Shandie, is that you?"

He broke out into a grin and jogged over to where she was standing.

"Hey, it's good to see you again." he threw his arms around her in a tight but short lived hug.

"It's good to see you too."

"What are you doing here?"

A sigh escaped her lungs as her shoulders seemed to sag under an invisible weight called discouragement. "I needed someone to talk to."

He smirked, throwing an arm around her shoulder and leading her to the locker rooms, "I can relate. Just give me a few minutes to shower and get changed." he told her as they entered the flap of the saffron and black canvas tent. "I'll be done in a few minutes and then I'm yours for as long as you need me."

Shandie's stomach flopped at his words, _'Oh, don't say things like that Cedric!' _she thought.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and the team had finished with their own showers, dressed and left by then. Even the girls, who were forever fixing their hair and finding **_some_** imperfection to correct, had since been satisfied with their appearances and left for dinner. Finally, hair still slightly wet and amazingly (yet charmingly) out of place Cedric entered the small room allowed him as captain of the team. The office space included a mildly cluttered desk, a swinging chalk board already clad in an array of quidditch plays, a small bookshelf, and a framed map hanging on the wall which was unlike any Shandie had ever seen as it was unusual for muggleborns to own two dimensional pictures containing moving images such as broomsticks, quidditch pitches, fairy folk, dragons, choppy waters or shooting stars.

"That's a very interesting map, Mr. Diggory." she informed her company as he made his way to his desk. Her arms had been folded over the front of her sweater as she stood just about a foot from the wall and observed it with her neck craned back. Her scarf and cloak had been left folded in the chair in front of the captain's desk when she had first been left in the room twenty minutes earlier.

"Oh, thanks." Cedric chuckled at her fascination, "Helps me feel more at home, I brought it from my room."

"It's neat, I've never seen a map like that before."

"You haven't?" he looked at her funny.

She shrugged, taking her seat once more as he took his own across from her. "Both my parents are muggleborn wizards so there's not much magic at my house. They never pursued magical careers either, so that didn't really help."

"What do they do?" he asked, flipping through and half heartedly organizing some of the papers on his desk.

"My mother's a ballet teacher and my father is a librettist."

"A libertiest?"

"_Librettist_." she emphasized the word with its proper French accent, "That's the title of someone who writes ballets."

Cedric nodded, "Should have seen that coming."

Shandie rolled her eyes, "Yah, and what do **_your _**parents do, golden boy?"

"Hey now, no name calling." looking up from his papers to offer her a flirtatious smile, Cedric was quick to go back to his work, "My father works for the ministry."

"That's right. He's come down to the school a few times, how could I have forgotten?" she shook her head and smiled at her scattered brain.

"It's alright. I like my mom's job better anyway."

"Oh? And what's she do?"

"She works as a Healer for St. Mungo's."

"That's lovely. Demanding job though, is she around much?"

"She's around enough to be a good mother, which is more than my father can vouch for. But enough of that. You came here to talk about _your_ life."

"Right. Well, I've been having a spot of trouble with Arithmancy. Actually it's more than a spot; it's like a huge, permanent ink stain on my favorite blouse."

Cedric laughed loudly at that, "Nice analogy."

Shan snorted, albeit while smiling. "I don't know what to do anymore Cedric. It's like the harder I try the worse I get and no matter what I do I keep hitting more road blocks. It's frustrating me to tears."

"Have you tried getting a tutor?" he asked.

"Sort of. None of my friends are much help, they're Ravenclaws, remember? They're all too busy doing work of their own and even when they do try to help me they get frustrated when I can't grasp the material like they can."

"Well, _I'm_ not a Ravenclaw and I'm actually fairly good at Arithmancy. I can help you if you like." he offered.

"Would you? I'd really appreciate it!" she confessed with a heavy emphasis on her words.

"Okay, we can start right away if you want."

"Actually I was kind of hoping to take a break and relax a bit. You know, get a handle on my nerves." she explained.

"Right, that sounds better anyway. I'm still a bit worn out from today's Transfiguration lesson to tell you the truth. Bloody McGonagall had us turning cats into stools."

Shandie laughed softly, "It's not so hard really. Just yesterday we were transfiguring piles of bricks into ovens."

"Say, if I help you with Arithmancy do you suppose you could help me with Transfiguration?"

"Well…" she hesitated, "I can try. I'm not quite sure I'll be much of a good teacher, though. I'm afraid I'm just as impatient and assuming as my friends." she blushed lightly.

"Well I'm a pretty fit student. I learn quickly, you shouldn't have too much trouble with me." Cedric flashed a smile and she returned it.

"Okay, I owe you for agreeing to tutor me anyway." she nodded compliantly.

"It's settled then. So what would you like to do before we study?" he questioned.

"I dunno," her shoulders gave up a shrug, "Any suggestions?"

Cedric tilted his head to the side and his gaze went to rest on the map tacked to his wall as he gently bit his lower lip in thought. Shandie wished he wouldn't do that…it was far too attractive.

"Come fly with me." he smirked at her, a charming glint in his gray eyes.

Shandie nearly laughed. "I haven't been on a broomstick since first year! And that was a train wreck just waiting to happen. Madame Hooch still regards me as one of her worst students."

"Oh come off it, you can't be **_so_** bad. You're graceful enough on your toes." he insisted.

"On my toes, yes! It's not so hard when you're on solid ground! In the air you haven't any thing to balance yourself upon!"

"Shandie I'll help you along. C'mon, it'll be fun, I promise!" he was grinning like a cat at her juvenile resistance.

"I don't even have a broom." she informed him triumphantly.

"Not a problem, we have plenty in the shed. How do you expect students who can't afford new ones to play on their house teams?"

"Cedric…" she whined hesitantly.

"Oh stop that!" he chuckled, "You need some adventure, some daring!"

Shan rolled her eyes, "If it's adventure we're after why don't we just go and ask Hagrid for an extra credit Care of Magical Creatures assignment, yeah?"

It was Cedric's turn to roll his eyes, "You really are a Ravenclaw aren't you?"

"Quite! There's a reason Gryffindors are known for their adventurous natures and Ravenclaws _aren't._"

"It'll help you relax." he sighed.

"Relax?" she nearly choked on the word, "How do you expect me to relax? Shriveling up my nerves in numerous, stress-filled attempts not to fall off a stick of wood and land forty feet later on the ground is not what I call relaxing. No, I believe that's what I would label a death wish."

"Shandie!" his shoulders were shaking with mirth, "You're being ridiculous! Now, I swear if you do exactly as I instruct you you'll be safe. No one's every **_died_** in quidditch after all." Cedric stood and walked around his desk to open the door to his office.

"Not yet…" she grumbled as she stood and followed him with her arms crossed over her chest, "But they've come pretty damn close."

"Well Madame Pomfrey can heal concussions in a heartbeat so you've nothing to fear." he assured her.

"Oh lovely, I feel boatloads better now."

By the time the two of them got outside the wind had only gotten fiercer and the temperature had only dropped along with it.

"I really don't know if this is a good idea…" Shan moaned.

"Alright, you mount your broom like this…no, you have to keep it pointing up…there you go. Now just, kick off." In a flurry of wind he had shot up into the middle of the pitch with at least 50 feet separating him from the grass below.

Bracing herself, Shandie tried to do the same thing but ended up performing a wonky sort of jump which only caused her broom handle to smack her in the chest when she landed a foot later.

"Well…?"

"I tried! It's not working!" she shouted up to him. With the same grace she usually exerted in her dance studio Cedric glided back down to her. He got off his broom and held the handle of hers with a strong grip.

"Alright, imagine yourself flying. Pull every particle of your being upward and just let yourself fly."

She closed her eyes, half heartedly trying. Nothing happened.

"Cedric this is useless."

"Just keep trying. You're a hard worker when you want to be."

"Exactly! When I **_want_** to be."

"I **_know_** you want to fly with me." He gave her a serious and mildly exasperated look. "You need to give this to yourself. Let yourself want it and then let yourself have it. That's all it is." He told her patiently.

She gave him an appreciative yet doubting smile and held her handle firmly once more. This time around she pictured herself soaring through the air and laughing, enjoying herself with Cedric far and away from the curious eyes of the school.

"There see!" he laughed.

Her eyes opened once more and a laugh of her own burst from her throat. She was hovering about three feet off the ground and the vibrating of her broom told her it wanted to go further, faster still.

"Now follow me!" he called over his shoulder as he whooshed past her back to his previous position.

"Wait!" yelped, falling a bit in her doubt, "How do I do that!"

"Lean forward and will yourself!" he shouted back.

Filled with more faith than last time she followed his advice willingly, directing all her desire and frustration into soaring high above the castle amongst the sea of stars hosting that evening's sky. Remarkably it worked…only it worked a bit too well. With a shriek, Shandie went bulleting up into the sky, nearly colliding with Huffelpuff's quidditch captain on her way past him. Cedric frowned in the direction she'd gone in. The encroaching night around them had seemingly swallowed her when yet another shriek filled the air and the poor flyer found her way back into his company.

"That was absolutely exhilarating-woah!" she laughed loudly, nearly falling off her broom as she shook with mirth. She felt the giddiness of relief and excitement alight in her veins.

Cedric chuckled at the sight before him. What a clumsy thing, he thought, it's a wonder she's so good on her feet. He couldn't deny himself the luxury of looking at her, hair whipping in the wind as she laughed at herself. There was something so imperfectly beautiful about how she didn't know what she was doing at all. How she needed his help up here. How she wanted to be by his side instead of showing off. It was something he hadn't been allowed in a long while.

Oblivious to his thoughts, Shandie soon calmed down, her cheeks pink from not getting enough oxygen in between laughs.

"Thank you." She sighed after taking a deep breath, a grateful yet playful smile on her lips as she guided her broom closer to his (which took some very noticeable effort).

"For what?" he asked, too engrossed with her to think about what she could have possibly been talking about.

"For being a jerk and forcing me to face my fears."

"You're thanking me by insulting me?" he smirked.

"Well that ego of yours does need some deflating…"

Cedric rolled his eyes, "You're welcome. Sorry for being a jerk."

"Yah, it's okay every once in a while. When it's for my own good, ya know." She explained.

"Well, then I think I'm going to have to be a jerk again because if I don't correct the way you're holding your broom, pretty soon you won't have anything to hold on to at all." He floated a bit nearer to her, reaching out a hand and gently repositioning her own.

Before she could process what he was about to do his hands were over hers and her eyes instinctively shot up to meet his.

"Sorry-you just needed to…"-

"No, it's alright. You just…my hands are so cold and yours are so warm it just…surprised me is all…" She trailed off into awkward silence.

"Well, come on then." His smile returned and he started off slowly. Though readjusting the direction of her broom handle was difficult, she managed it in the end and caught up with Cedric's slow pace.

"So how are things with you and Cho?" she questioned half hesitantly. Shan didn't want to resurface any bad feelings had a fight occurred, but she half wished there **_had_** been a fight so she could be there for him. It was a selfish wish and she knew it. But that didn't falter its presence at all.

"I haven't had any trouble with her…but I haven't really had much progress either. She's been pretty busy…"

"We're all 'pretty busy', it's whether or not she makes you a priority that counts."

"But she's a Ravenclaw. She's consumed with her studies, Shan. I've just got to give her her space."

"I'm a Ravenclaw too if you've forgotten and I make time to dance every night. Like I said it's a priority issue."

"Look, what am I supposed to do? Just feel worse because I'm not a priority in my girlfriend's life?"

"No, you're supposed to not put up with it." She mumbled, feeling guilty for not having anticipated how her words would affect him. "I wasn't trying to make you feel worse, you know that's the last thing I want."

"How should I know?" he gave her a funny look while his mind screamed to know exactly how she felt. He wanted to know she didn't want to hurt him at all because her feelings towards him surpassed those of friendship.

"Because…we're friends, right?"

Cedric didn't know whether to be disappointed or not, "I like to think we are." He played along as though that really was what he liked to think. As though snogging Shandie in the prefect's bathroom had absolutely nothing to do with what he liked to think.

"Then you should know that I'm only trying to make things work for you. I only want what's best for my friends and if that means trying to make them see that a little heart ache now might save them a lot more down the road then so be it." She explained, trying to keep her teeth from chattering. Her skin wasn't used to the harsh conditions thrust upon those who ventured outside of the castle and her fingers were already numb from the cold.

"I really appreciate that." He murmured, looking over at her. She only nodded, seeming rather sad. "What's the matter? I haven't been a jerk again have I?" he joked, trying to make her smile.

He succeeded but only for a flickering moment.

"No, you're wonderful. I'm…I'm just cold-look, perhaps we ought to get back. It's already dark, dinner will be served soon. Everyone will wonder where we are and"-

"I don't really care what they wonder, Shan." He told her solemnly.

"I don't _want _to…but I can't help it." She followed him as he began descending. A convulsive shiver racked her shoulders when the wind billowed around them as they flew against it.

"Jesus, it's so cold." She shivered again, albeit not as violently. Without a word Cedric undid his quidditch cloak and fitted the thick, canary yellow material around his companion's reasonably smaller shoulders. His fingertips brushed her neck as he tied the bit of black rope near her collar to secure it, causing her breath to hitch and their eyes to meet for a fleeting moment.

"Thank you." She said quietly as his body warmth permeated her skin, melting the cold that had dug itself into her bones. The scent of butterscotch filled her nasal cavity once more and she seemed to be melting. It was almost like her skin was drinking butterbeer.

"Come on." He laid a muscular arm around her shoulder and ushered her back to the locker rooms in silence. By then the heat of the moisture from the showers the team had taken after practice had dissipated and all that was left was condensed fog on the mirrors in the bathroom and a roaming chill throughout the tent. Once again they found themselves in the Captain's quarters and Shandie stood like a church mouse as he got his things together and handed her her own. Trading cloaks, they left for the castle, both with words to say, both knowing that it wasn't worth it to say them.

They stopped just before the front doors to the castle and faced one another.

"Thank you again. For everything."

"For being a jerk?" he attempted to elict a smile from her. His plan succeeded, just not quite to the extent he had hoped.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow? For Arithmancy?"

"Oh, umm, yah, sure." In all truth, he had completely forgotten by this time. "I'll see you in the library after dinner?"

She nodded, "Sounds good to me."

"Alright then."

"I hope things get better with Cho."

Cedric nodded, not trusting his tongue. Lifting her bag onto her shoulder more firmly, Shan leaned forward and kissed his cheek-then left him surprised, confused and hopeful on the front steps as she made her quick, silent way through the doors.


	4. Heart Held Back

**Chapter Four: Heart Held Back**_  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world would cave in_

_And I do not try to change him  
So hard not to blame him_

_He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take_

_And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

_Beautiful Disaster- _Kelly Clarkson

* * *

Nearly forgetting her Arithmancy book in her haste to be in Cedric's company, Shandie rushed through the Ravenclaw dormitory and into the corridor which would take her downstairs to the library. Through the halls, she willed her legs not to go sprinting off to their destination in haste. Running after all was forbidden in the halls and her heart beat was quickening enough as it was.

Stepping into the warmly lit study, Shan looked around for any sign of Huffelpuff's seeker. Her gaze snagged on the sixth year boy as he sat slightly slouched in a chair at a table near the back. His brow was furrowed and he was holding a small book, open and about six inches from his face.

"What's that you're reading?" she asked, pulling out a chair and taking a seat beside him. Cedric's eyes flickered up at once to meet her own. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he sat forward in his chair.

"Just some theoretical stuff," he shrugged, not being able to stop her before she snatched the book up and examined the cover.

"What She Really Wants: A Guide to Keeping Your Girlfriend Happy." Shandie quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "Are you serious? She has you reading this crap?"

Cedric grabbed his book back, glaring at Shan for a minute before stuffing it in his bag and pulling out a text book in place of it. Guilt swept over her in waves as his expression gave her an idea of just how upset he was.

"I'm sorry…" she murmured, pulling out her own text book along with some parchment, ink and a quill. A sigh left her mouth and she couldn't help her self from continuing. "I just don't think you should have to work so hard to make her happy. You'd make **_any_** sensible girl deliriously happy just by being yourself."

He watched her as she kept her eyes down, dipping her quill and flipping pages absently to avoid his eyes as she spoke.

"Thank you." his voice was soft and Shandie could tell her words had had their desired affect.

"Yah, no problem…"

Cedric stared at her for a few more moments before snapping back to reality. He cleared his throat and opened up his text book to begin.

"So, what are you having trouble with?"

"Cedric? Perhaps we ought to look at **_my_** text book? Yours is the sixth year edition."

A mild blush crept to his cheeks, "Right," he chuckled nervously at himself, "I knew that."

"It's no problem," she smirked at him.

"So, what chapter are we looking at?"

"We're on chapter eight, but I think we might need to go back to around chapter five. That's when I started getting off track." she confessed.

"Right," he slid her book closer to him, leaning closer to Shandie herself in the process. He looked up for a moment, startled when he noticed the sudden scent of ginger snaps. Caught off guard and rather invigorated Cedric had trouble shaking off the surprising burst of desire he felt from simply inhaling.

"See these incantations here?" she pointed to a triangle labeled scrupulously with tiny black script all around its perimeter. "It's these formulas that give me trouble. I mean first you have to translate the Latin and then you have to **_interpret _**it. It's wretched."

"It's life." he reminded her, "Now, the trick to Latin is a pocket dictionary." Leaning down, he pulled a copy from his satchel and handed it to her. She gave him a skeptical look, taking the dictionary.

"We're wizards Cedric! Is there no simpler way to do this?"

In a series of swift motions, the boy beside her had grabbed his book back, run the tip of his wand over part of the incantation scribbled around the triangle in her text and tapped the cover of his dictionary. Shandie watched him curiously and was pleasantly surprised when the dictionary flipped itself onto its spine, opened and began flipping its pages around all on its own. Within moments it had stopped and was lying open. As she leaned forward she noticed that one of the many words on the page seemed to be almost rippling, like a flag waving lightly in the wind. Shandie very quickly realized that it was one of the words printed around the triangle.

"Is that all?" she asked in wonderment, looking back to Cedric.

"Sort of." he leaned closer to her again and laid a finger on the outline of the triangle, "Don't forget to analyze everything you can though. See the triangle here? That symbolizes luck, so it lets you know that the Arithmancy in this problem is probably going to involve finding the probability of luck somehow."

"Mhm…" she scribbled a note of this off to the side of the page in the margin.

"That's really helpful once you get to the translation because it gives you an idea of where your translation is headed and whether you did it properly or not."

"Right, makes sense." she nodded. "Can you help me with the actual solving part now?"

He returned her sheepish smile, "Yah."

It went like that for about an hour or so. They got off topic occasionally but always found their way back some how or another. Shandie had never dreamed spending so much time on a subject she detested would prove to be such a good time. Eventually, they forgot about Arithmancy all together and were talking and laughing so merrily that Shandie was sure she'd never be welcome back in the library again by Madame Pince.

"I think she hates us." Cedric chuckled lowly as he and Shandie went to put all the books they'd taken from the shelves back in their proper places as the time was nearing curfew. Throwing a glance over her shoulder as they strolled deeper into the tall isles she giggled softly, soon loosing sight of Madame Pince's desk as it disappeared amongst the books and candlelight.

"Probably, but I'm thinking it's worth it." she gave him a flirtatious smirk.

"Why do you say that?" he arched an eyebrow. Shan's eyes met his own and she stared deeply for a few moments as her features softened.

"I really enjoy spending time with you." her confession was honest and her gaze didn't waver as she spoke it. The glow of the candlelight around them was dim and Cedric felt his senses aching with a longing to trace the burning glow that danced on her cheeks with the tips of his fingers. "It kind of scares me."

Those last words catapulted him back to reality. He could only sigh, leaning back against the book case beside them which was mounted along the wall and held no threat of tipping backwards. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at the ground.

"It shouldn't be hard for us to admit that we like spending time together." when he finally spoke his words were low and careful. As he lifted his eyes to meet hers she saw only sadness. Shandie's feelings for the boy in front of her were too difficult to repress and so when her first instinct was to lay a hand on his cheek she didn't hesitate. By the time he could feel the warmth (not to mention the light moisture of sweat) of her palm on his face Shandie wasn't about to make things any more awkward by taking it away quickly.

"But **_is_** hard." she murmured. "That's why I'm so scared."

"Why should you be scared?" he protested, wishing deeply that his denial could be a reality and that she'd share the ignorance he wanted immerse himself in. The ignorance of being so close to Shandie, hidden behind piles of books and bathing in candlelight. The ignorance of their world being uncomplicated. The ignorance of being able to break up with Cho and not having to suffer consequences. The ignorance of happily ever after.

"Be honest with yourself. We're not just admitting that we like spending time together. It goes deeper than that."

Cedric couldn't deny this because he immediately wanted to know just how deep it went. He was dying to hear Shandie spill her heart and spell out just the way she felt about him over and over again until she fell asleep in his arms.

"You're not making this easy." he breathed, subconsciously leaning closer to her. His eyes shifted to her mouth a few times and he swallowed. When she didn't respond he began pouring his heart out. "I've never been disloyal and then I met you in the middle of this thing I have with Cho"-

"Last time I checked it wasn't just 'this thing', it was you and her going steady." she reminded him.

"Right, well whatever you call it,…I just feel like I'm, like I'm being unfaithful somehow."

"You should." she told him, but he could tell by her expression that it hurt her to have to say such a thing, "You can't tell me that when we're together your thoughts are completely innocent. Even **_I_** won't lie to myself _that _badly."

"You've thought about me?"

She giggled and took her hand from his face, opting instead to hold his hand in a firm gesture that she was there with and for him. That they were in this together, no matter how badly either of them fucked things up. "That's not the point."

"Yah, but now I really want to know. C'mon Shan, tell me." he was smiling mischievously then and poked her in the side playfully when she refused to divulge such personal territory.

"No," a breathy laugh escaped her throat when he tickled her side a bit, but Cedric gave up before really giving it much of a go. He knew they were already pushing curfew, but if they were found in the back of the library so close together it wouldn't just get them into trouble with Madame Pince but word would be sure to travel through out the whole school by morning. Damn Ravenclaw gossips… "Cedric please, we really ought to be getting back to our dorms."

He followed after her as she started back to their table, "How can you just tell me to go back to my dorm? Do you really expect me to go back to sleep after you've just let on that you fantasize about me."

"Just like a man aren't you!" she rolled her eyes, still smiling as she threw he satchel on once they reached the table they'd been at. It didn't take them long to get there as they'd been near the back to begin with. The pair slipped out into the corridor and Madame Pince gave a gruntled sigh while glaring at the two the entire time.

* * *

"Look who decided to come to back!" Miranda Ward shouted from her bed, her thick cockney accent ringing in Shandie's ears as she entered the girls' seventh year Ravenclaw dormitory. Soon, the other girls joined in.

"Where were you?"

"Bit past your bed time, Shan."

"It's a wonder you weren't caught by a prefect."

"Actually, I was with one." Shandie's reply to their teasing was quiet and she avoided their eyes as she threw her satchel down by her bed. The other girls exchanged looks before another girl, Lindsey Applebee, voiced what the others were thinking.

"Who were **_you_** with?"

"Percy Weasley no doubt." Miranda teased lowly, yet loud enough for Shan to hear. Miranda could be summed up in one word: Boisterous. She was loud with rosy cheeks, terribly frizzy ginger hair that she always kept back and a few extra pounds around her stomach. There was no denying that she was a nice girl and a good friend, but she could also be a bit obnoxious.

"Oh, ha ha." Shandie smirked wryly as the girls shared a giggle, "For your information I was with Cedric Diggory."

Again, the others all exchanged glances before blurting out their own responses.

"Are you joking?"

"The quidditch captain?"

"The **_gorgeous _**quidditch captain?"

"Well, the gorgeous quidditch captain dating Cho Chang, yah." Shandie reminded them all.

"Don't be so sure, she's been down in the common room moping all night about how her boyfriend keeps spacing off when they talk. At least now we know why, eh?" her tone was provocative and it was clear to Shandie that Miranda was very proud of herself for presenting her with the juicy rumor.

The dancer certainly couldn't deny that her interests perked up a bit at this news. "Has she?"

"Interested, are we?" Miranda cocked an eyebrow.

"Well…I mean her and Cedric _**do**_ always seem to be on thin ice."

"Always? How long have you been seeing him?" Lindsey exclaimed.

"We're not _**seeing**_ each other, he's helping me with Arithmancy because you all are _horrible_ tutors." she insisted, going over to her drawer and throwing things around to find some pajamas.

"He can be **_my _**tutor any day." one of the other girls licked her lips. This threw the others into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, honestly girls. You'd never guess any of you were in their seventh year." Shandie rolled her eyes, still smiling as she shook her head and began changing for bed.

"Keeps us young." Miranda leered.

"Of course Miri dear. Now, if you don't mind I'm very tired. Good night girls."

"I'd be tired too if I'd had the chance to study so late at night with Cedric Diggory."

Even Shandie couldn't help but giggle at Miranda's last words, "Good **_night_** girls."

* * *

The day after next was Saturday and it found Shandie sitting in the only compartment on the Hogwarts Express that she dared to. Miranda and the other girls were laughing all around her at the red head's stories as they sped back home. Shan remembered hearing that The Express averaged about 105 kilometers per hour. Still, as she sat there, she couldn't help thinking that it wasn't _nearly_ enough. It killed her to have to sit all day despite the jittery way her muscles and bones cried out to flex and bend in her studio.

Restlessness driving her out of her mind, Shandie excused herself from the compartment without a word. She came to a stop at the line outside of the train's bathrooms. Considering she had no where else to go and that breakfast **_had_** been a few hours ago Shan stayed in the line, figuring it would at least kill ten minutes. And then the girl in front of her turned around, her dark, sleek hair flipping effortlessly as she did so.

"Oh, hello Shandie." Cho was a very social young lady and knew nearly everyone in her house. Shandie wished she didn't.

"Hello Cho." she forced herself to smile back. "Going back home for Christmas?" she asked a question that she knew was stupid for the sake of expected conversation.

"Mhm," Cho nodded, a sweet smile lighting up her features, "I go home every holiday. I really miss my parents over the school year."

'_Little miss perfect is a family girl too. Figures.' _Shan kept her thoughts to herself and instead opted for small talk.

"Yah, me too. Do you have any plans for the holiday?" She hated small talk. She despised it. Wished she could set it on fire and watch while it curled up into a dark pile of ashes and blew away into the winter wind.

"Just Christmas." Ravenclaw's seeker laughed softly, "And Cedric's party of course."

That caught Shandie's attention firmly, "Party?"

Cho nodded, "His parents throw a big bash every year on Christmas Eve. Don't feel bad if you didn't get invited, it's really intimate, just family and friends."

The elder of the two girls had to keep herself from reacting much even as she felt like she'd just been sucker-punched. And though she was tempted to say something along the lines of "I've actually grown very close to Cedric over these past few weeks thanks to your negligence as a girlfriend. In fact he prefers spending time with me over you." she was forced to settle with keeping up that personable smile and nodding in faux understanding. She didn't trust her mouth to speak and for that reason kept it shut. Thankfully Cho had been next in line and the girl's loo found itself vacant before much more conversation could be exchanged.

As the countryside passed rapidly on the other side of the windows Shandie crossed her arms over her chest in thought. Why hadn't Cedric told her about the party?

'_Well, he obviously doesn't want you there, you dolt.' _she reasoned with herself. She wondered how she could have expected him to have asked her to be there in the first place. Cho would be there and it would be insane (not to mention somewhat hurtful) if he'd asked her to be there. After all she didn't fancy a night of watching the two canoodle and dance and laugh while she played the wallflower and stared at them with jealous eyes. _'I'm sure he wants me there…he just can't **have** me. It makes perfect sense. And anyways my grandparents are coming in. I wouldn't be able to go even if he did invite me.'_

Just after lunch the prefects began their usual patrol through the train and Shandie once more grew restless. She half hoped Cedric might stop in and invite her to his party but no such luck came. Evening fell and The Express steamed into London. Bits of flurying snow remained gathered at the windows as it pulled into the station. Hugging her friends good bye and wishing them all happy holidays Shandie left to find her parents.

Her mother was there to greet her with open arms, explaining that her father was picking up his parents from the muggle airport. Shandie's grandparents on her mother's side were waiting near the muggle platforms in King's Cross since they were muggles themselves and couldn't cross the barrier that hid platform 9 ¾ from the rest of the world.

"Have you got all your luggage with you?" her mother asked.

"Yah, we can just go"-

"Shan! Shandie!" Her head turned and her heart leapt as she recognized the voice calling out her name. Cedric had run over to them and was not very successful at hiding a wide smile. Having changed from his robes he was still wearing his school uniform. Shandie had always admired the way he filled out that uniform, though she certainly wasn't going to say so in front of her mother. Over his shoulder Shan noticed Cho, Cho's family and Mr. and Mrs. Diggory all waiting for him. A smug smile spread across the young girls face, knowing they were all wondering why he was talking to her.

"Hello Cedric. Mum, this is Cedric Diggory, he's captain of the Huffelpuff quidditch team. Cedric, this is my mother."

The two shook hands, "Wonderful to meet you Mrs. McAndrews. Your daughter is an exquisite dancer."

"Thank-you." Mrs. McAndrews beamed proudly, laying a hand on Shandie's shoulder, "We're very proud of her."

Shandie smirked at her mother quickly before turning her attention back to Cedric, "Well, have a good holiday with Cho then." she bit off, her smile still intact. She hadn't planned on being so rude, however the sting of what Ravenclaw's seeker had said earlier remained as in tact as Shandie's fake smile.

Cedric's own grin faltered, "Well, I was actually hoping I'd see **_you _**too."

"I'm afraid I can't, I have family over." she told him, as disappointed as she was upset.

"Well…maybe if you get the chance, my parents have a party every year on Christmas Eve. It's only for family and friends. I'd really love it if you and your family came."

"That sounds lovely," Mrs. McAndrews smiled appreciatively, "However, I'm afraid Shandie's right. Both my parents and her father's parents stay with us every holiday. And on such short notice I'm afraid we simply can't. Perhaps, next year?"

"Oh, alright then. Can't say I didn't try, eh?" he looked Shandie square in the eyes. She could tell he was hurt and it made her guilty enough to slip her arms around him in a hug good bye.

"I'm sorry." she whispered in his ear.

"Don't worry about it. I'll give you your Christmas present when we get back from holiday." he shrugged.

"You got me something?" she nearly laughed from surprise.

"Cedric! Hurry up lad!" Mr. Diggory called across the platform.

"I'll be right there dad!" Cedric shouted over his shoulder. "Look, I've got to go. Try to write?"

"I will." she nodded before shouting at his retreating form "Merry Christmas golden boy!"

"Merry Christmas Shandie!" he laughed, then turned and ran for the small crowd which awaited him.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't posted. I meant to on thurs. but I'm running tech for the drama club production at my school (Mystery at Hotel Ormond) and it's been nothing but long nights every night for the past four days. On top of things that was def. not my best work, lol. It was necessary though. I swear the next chapter will be better...and possibly R-rated, ehe. Review! Review!**


	5. Dancing Along a Line of Wrong and Right

A/N: Ugh, I did this with Vanity too, it seems I've forgotten if I mentioned Shandie's eye color. If I did, someone PLEASE tell me what it is and where I said it…On a lighter note: I love my reviewers. (Esp. Moonlights Desire- I hope you're getting those like full page reviews of mine, lol). And something really odd I noticed, for all my fans from 'Vanity' or just those of Tom: James Franco would make the most kick ass Tom Riddle. Don't ya think?

**Five: Dancing Along A Line of Wrong and Right**

_Well I've been a dancer, I've been a dancer all my life  
But I'm not dancing 'round this one tonight_  
_'That's How Love Should Be'_- Tyler Hilton

* * *

She didn't know what she was thinking. It was like she had been watching someone else and egging them on when her nails raked through the tin of ashes on the mantle. The smoke turned green and she wondered if she was as well. She tried spotting, a trick she'd learned from her mother so as not to get dizzy from spinning on her toes when dancing. It didn't have time to work because by the time Shandie tried to pick a spot to fix her eyes on she lost her balance and jerked forward only to fall on a thin rug which covered the hard wood floor of the Diggory's formal living room. Silver ash flew up in clouds all around her and the warm glow of fire light returned. Within seconds it was clear that half of the guests were in this very room, around the fire, and they were all staring at her.

"Shandie?" her gaze lifted and her heart seemed to melt with relief when soft gray eyes met her own. He helped her to her feet and everyone soon went back to chatting amongst themselves, though they continued to glance curiously at her every now and then. Embarrassed and still covered in ash, Shan found herself being maneuvered out of the room and into the dimly lit hallway by the grip Cedric held on her arm.

"Thought you'd crash my party, huh?" he laughed. She cracked a smile still covered in soot.

"Yah, thanks for saving me back there. I'm sorry I made a fool of myself in front of your party guests." she sighed, dusting her shirt off some more. He smiled sympathetically, attempting to help her shake some of the ash from her hair and back.

"Don't even worry about it, was that you're first time traveling by floo powder?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"You fell on the floor Shan." he chuckled.

"Yah, I guess your right." she smiled and shook her head at what had just happened.

"Is everything alright? Is your family with you?"

"I'm afraid not. I'll tell you everything, can I just get some water first? My mouth is full of ash and it's disgusting." she made a face and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yes, yes. Of course. Follow me." he lead her to the kitchen which was empty and large. Shandie immediately became well acquainted with the sink faucet, washing any trace of ash from her mouth and lips, splashing her face with the cool water to get the heat from traveling by fire out of her skin. It didn't leave. It was then that she was reminded of how feverish she felt when she was with Cedric.

"So what happened?" he asked, concerned. The young girl beside him sighed before turning to face him.

"I told you how my grandparents are over at my house, right?" he nodded "Right, well, every year they come and visit and every year the whole house hold gets into this huge row because my father's parents are Irish and even though my mum was raised in Liverpool for most of her life but her parents are firmly French and they've never liked my father much or his family. So they got into this ridiculously large fight and then my parents got dragged into it and then **_I _**did and I was crying and all that bother and I stormed up to my room. Well, I ended up crying myself to sleep and when I woke up I could hear them still fighting downstairs and I don't know what came over me…I just grabbed some floo powder and before I could even think about it I'd taken myself here. I know you weren't expecting me, I'm sorry about dropping in like this"-

"No, no. Don't be. Here have a seat, have you eaten?"

"I'm not hungry." she shrugged.

"Alright well, let me take your coat. There, most of the soot's gone anyways." he left her for a few moments as he hung up her coat but came back shortly, "I'm so sorry about your grandparents and all. Is there anything I can do?"

"If I could just stay here, I'd be really grateful. I won't be trouble."

"Sure you will." he smirked. She cracked a smile.

"I can't help it. You're a bad influence Mr. Diggory." she teased.

He chuckled, "Hey why don't you come meet my parents and everyone?"

"Would you hate me terribly if I didn't? I just don't feel up to a party right now."

"Oh, of course. I understand."

"I'm just going to go take a shower, if that's alright?"

"Yah, by all means. Umm, you can just hang out in my room until everyone leaves if you'd like."

"I think I will." she said, standing. "Just call me down when they've all gone. I'll help you all clean up."

"Don't be silly. You're a guest, you're not lifting a finger."

"I like staying at _your_ house." she smirked as he led her past the pantry, through the foyer and to the stair case.

* * *

His room was enchanting, charming and rather a mess. The walls were covered with photographs of his friends and family, quidditch posters, scribbled quotes on torn bits of parchment, framed awards and achievements and a few battered broomsticks were mounted on one of the walls. These were organized from smallest at the top to largest at the bottom. Under each was a small plaque with a description of memorable moments Cedric had achieved on the brooms and at what age he had used them. The walls were dark blue and somehow matched the Huffelpuff throw blanket which covered his bed. There were all sorts of medals and trophies and Shandie snorted as she passed the dresser they all sat on top of. A small smile decorated her mouth when she came to a very large, framed map. It was the same map from the Captain's office.

The view from his window, which found itself hovering over his desk, Shandie got an eyeful of grassy field stretching out about 50 meters towards a forest thick with night and darkness. Beyond those fir trees were more of their brothers, spreading over gently rolling hills. It was nice and mildly rugged. Somehow the feel of the place matched with Cedric's masculine warmth perfectly.

Having no pajamas of her own, Shan threw her underclothes back on and took a romp through his dresser for some of his sleepwear. Red and white striped boxers and an oversized white t-shirt later, she flopped onto her back on his bed. A sigh left her mouth and she stared up at the ceiling.

Why had she come here? Her parents were going to have kittens when they found out. The problem was that didn't give Shan much incentive to go home and if she wasn't going home that meant she was staying. And staying meant all kinds of bad. Staying meant time alone with Cedric. Something that she wanted but that she also knew would lead to nothing but trouble in the end.

Still exhausted and emotionally worn out, Shandie closed her eyes, rolled over and tried to forget about her family. Cedric's sheets were soft and his blankets were thick and the warm scent of butterscotch quickly lulled her to sleep.

* * *

Shan woke to the sound of hustle and bustle far off somewhere. Dishes clanging together as they were thrown in a sink, people laughing loudly, chairs and tables being dragged along floors and bumping into walls. Her senses felt groggy and a frown decorated her features as she sat up in a bed unfamiliar to her. The familiarity of her surroundings sunk back into her memory slowly as she looked around. Her first instinct was to call for Cedric. She felt lost and alone and desperately needed to see him to feel grounded and safe.

As though reading her mind, the bedroom door opened and a boy about her own age slipped in. He did his best to close the door quietly, not noticing her return to consciousness until looking up.

"Hey, you're up." a smile lit up Cedric's face and his words were gentle as he sat down beside the young girl in his bed.

"Yah, has everyone gone yet?"

"Of course they have, it's nearly midnight!" he chuckled, handing his guest a glass of water.

"Thank you." she gratefully accepted the glass and gulped.

"I see you took the liberty of rooting through my clothes." he smirked. It took her a good moment or two to get the gist of his meaning but she was soon smiling as well.

"Yah, nice boxers by the way."

"Thanks, they look better on you than me though." he assured her.

"When did everyone leave?" she asked, setting the water on his bedside table.

"Oh not long ago, Cho was the last one out she left about fifteen minutes ago. I would have come up sooner but my parents needed help tidying up."

"Well you must have come up sooner otherwise you wouldn't have been surprised to see me awake." Shan wondered if she was imaging the slight blush on his cheeks since the lighting in his room was low to begin with and she was still sort of waking up.

"Yah, I came up a few times through out the party." he admitted slowly. The side of her mouth ticked up slightly.

"How many times exactly?" she was interested to hear about how he had felt the need to leave Cho's side just to check on her.

"Three or four, I'm not really sure."

"Well that was sweet of you, I appreciate it." she took his hand in hers and scooted off the mattress, "Come on, let me help you guys clean up."

"If you're feeling up to it and you really want to"-

"Of course I want to." she insisted over her shoulder as she lead him down his own hallway. "I'm just glad to be out of my house and here with you."

His eyes met hers on the way down the staircase but before Cedric could properly respond his mother caught them by surprise.

"Cedric, is that your little friend?" she beamed from the bottom of the staircase. Her features were warm and inviting, just like the low lighting all around them. Mrs. Diggory was a mildly stout witch, but still attractive with thick, auburn hair around her shoulders.

"She's a year older than me mum. Her name's Shandie, remember?" they had reached the bottom of the staircase by then and Shandie had instinctively dropped his hand.

"Good evening Shandie. It's lovely to meet you. Cedric's done nothing but talk about how wonderful you've been to him. I really appreciate you being there for my son. These past few weeks have been rather difficult for him."

"It's quite alright, I love the company." Shan smiled first at his mother, then at Cedric.

"Well, I see you found my son's sock and underwear drawer. You're a brave girl to go poking around in there." Mrs. Diggory laughed softly. Shan found herself drawn to such a personable woman and liked her almost instantly.

"Yes, I'm afraid I hadn't thought far enough ahead to what I was going to wear _after_ I took a shower."

Cedric's mother laughed softly again, "It's no trouble dear. Did you have a good rest? Cedric told us you passed out on his bed."

"Oh, yes thank you. I actually came down to see if there was anything I could do to help you clean up."

"Aren't you sweet! I appreciate the offer but we're actually just about done. The brooms are just sweeping the last bit of dust up now. If you're hungry though feel free to eat. There's too many leftovers for just us anyhow."

"Thank you, I probably will."

"Alright, well I'm going to go to bed. You two stay up as long as you like, just try not to make too much of a mess, alright?" Mrs. Diggory edged towards the staircase.

"Yes mum, goodnight." Cedric hugged his mother and watched her ascend the stairs.

"Good night darling. Good night Shandie, it was lovely meeting you."

"You too." Shan called as they walked towards the living room. True to what Mrs. Diggory had told them it was practically spotless, thought the fire was still alight and crackling merrily. This however was the only source of light in the room and everything was either cast in shadow or bathed in dancing gold light. The first thing that caught the attention of Cedric's guest however was the grand piano in the corner. It was still playing softly, the keys submitting under invisible fingers called enchantment. Her ears recognized the romantic melody of Allegro Moderato, though the name of the artist was escaping her brain at the moment. She wasn't allowed much to time to think however because within moments of her staring down at the ivory keys and inky black piano surface Cedric had gently taken her hand in his.

Shan looked up, surprised and curious. A few backward steps took them into the middle of a space which had been cleared earlier for couples to dance.

"Dance with me." he whispered in her ear, his other hand already resting just above her waist. His proper frame impressed the dancer in his arms and without a word she rested her elbow on his extended arm, properly resting her other hand in the palm of his own. It swept over her then, the sensation of waves crashing into her. Waves of silent adrenaline and lust. Waves of desire and denial being snuffed out for good. His eyes refused to leave the gaze of her own as they began a foxtrot she was barely aware of. The steps were grained into her ankles, she could have been leading if she had needed to. The wonderful, puzzling, breath taking part of it was that she **_didn't _**need to. He was sweeping her off her feet and she hadn't seen it coming in the least. His hand rested firmly on the small of her back and when her toes took her away from him his wrist would always sharply pull her back.

"You're terribly good at this." her words were breathy as he all but yanked her back to his side.

"Thank-you. You're not bad either." he replied.

"Yes, but I'm a dancer." she reminded him, dying to know how and when he had come into such skill. His timing could use some work and he lacked the light, sweeping grace Shandie had been trained for, but still, he was very good.

"I've learned a lot at these parties every year."

It wasn't just because of practice though. He wanted to be there with her. It was almost as though their artful steps were imitating their real life situation. Holding each other close, wanting to be there and at the peak of a fiery gaze Shan, in accordance with their dance, would have to step away from him. When she stepped forward her whole body wanted to crash into his (so much so that she could already imagine exactly how it would feel to have his gray sweater vest flush up against her arms and to feel his own chest muscles firm against her upper body) but he **_had_** to respond and step back. He didn't have a choice. It was like the way she had to end certain beats on certain feet, it just couldn't work unless they held back.

"I might've brushed up a bit with my mum, just in case you decided to come." he whispered in her ear with a small smile. Stepping back he twirled her on the spot.

Shandie could hardly keep herself moving, "You did that for me?" she gave him a look of amazement when they were once again facing one another.

"Well, I couldn't lead if my partner knew the steps better than I." he smirked.

"I wasn't even supposed to come." she reasoned with him.

"I still wanted you to."

The air between them was silent for a time and they just danced. Shandie had never known such loveliness existed. Dancing alone was one thing. Especially dancing ballet. Being supported by the arms of a man she had honest, deep feelings for though was breath taking. Each step by his side, the feel of her left palm nearly pushing into the space between his shoulder and chest, the way he would whisper for her to relax in his arms and she'd realize that she'd been tensing up again because her mind was drifting and she felt helpless because she was drowning in the truth that she couldn't help it because she was just so in love with him.

The pair tripped as she came to an immediate halt and his momentum had kept going, sending them collapsing to the ground right in front of the couch facing the fire. Cedric ended up half on top of his dance partner with her arms thrown around his instinctively for balance.

The bubble of laughter which threatened to burst in her throat was smothered with the way he was staring at her just inches from her face-not to mention her lips. The warmth of the fire seemed intense even though the couch they were up against was quite some feet from the mantle. Before Shan could make a move to get up or repress her feelings once again, Cedric's lips were suddenly on her own. Soft and gentle he kissed her before backing off, staring her in the eyes for a moment or two and then throwing all care to the wind and capturing her mouth in his. Her hands moved to his shoulders as he situated himself more properly over her and allowed her to straighten her back against the couch, all the while still kissing one another.

So much of her wanted to stop. She knew she should. But her body just wouldn't. His mouth was so warm and hers melted so perfectly against it. When it came down to it kissing him felt good. Not good in the casual, 'How was your day' sort of way. Good in the 'This is **_right._**' sort of way. Good in the way God found the earth and stars to be when he created them. Good in the way that makes you never want to let go. Good in the way that never lets you get deep enough. Good in the way that makes forever seem real and incredibly desirable.

When his own large hand found its way under the hem of her shirt and began caressing up the side of her torso Shan finally pulled back, her lips swollen and strawberry red. Her eyes darted down to where his hand rested then back to his own beautiful, gray eyes. They stayed like that, eyes locked, for a bit, just breathing and staring and processing.

"Aren't you scared?" she whispered.

"Of what?" he barely breathed back, leaning forward for another kiss. As he went to get up on his knees, Cedric's hand moved lower and cupped the underside of her thigh, lifting it gently. She didn't need much persuasion, within seconds both her legs had wrapped around his hips and he had lifted himself to stand, still kissing her. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he took her all the way up the stairs and into his room. The process was stop-and-go because he knew his floorboards were old and yet he was prevented from quickly hopping around the known squeaky spots because he was holding a whole other person in front of him.

Shan hadn't even been aware of leaving the living room until suddenly her mouth was no longer being warmed and moistened by Cedric's and her back hit the soft springs of his mattress. Her eyes were only open long enough to see his shirt thrown aside before he crawled back over her, his kisses more ardent then.

As her fingers flirted with his belt and pant zipper Cedric quickly pulled his wand from his pocket and cast a weak, breathy _"Muffliato." _at the door of his room. A flurry of kisses and hands shed them both of their clothes and before long they were both gasping and sighing, laughing and crying. The night passed by in a haze of breathless, feverish heat marked by exploration and climaxes. The pair pulled an all-nighter and though tears stung her eyes when Cedric first entered her, by the third and fourth go Shandie wondered where this had been all her life and why she hadn't gone after it sooner. Their exhaustion finally caught up with them around five in the morning and they fell asleep under a mess of sweaty sheets and blankets.

* * *

A/N: So sorry about the long wait guys, and the lack of description with them sleeping together. I just couldn't get it to feel right so I finally gave up, lol. Anyways, I know it's not my best work but I really just wanted to get past this chapter since the majority of it had been written out for so long anyways. So yah, hope you like. -Aspen


	6. Some Sad Affair

AN: Sry about the long wait guys! I hope this is worth the wait! Thanks to all the reviewers, you guys keep my enthusiasm up! Ok, so maybe my love for this story helps a little…**_a little_**. ;)

-rach

**Chapter Six: Some Sad Affair**

_Tired but I ain't sleeping  
Thinking about some sad affair  
And why I should be leaving _

'_Cause some of these thoughts  
Only seem to take me out of here  
These habits are so hard to break_

_And they're so easy to make

* * *

_

Cedric woke first, the light from the glaring white, over cast sky combined with screeching birds stirring him from a deep, well earned sleep. His muscles felt wrung out and his back was heavy. Shandie's chest lifted rhythmically up to crest at the arm he had draped around her. Cedric couldn't help but smirk at the thought of having exhausted her.

His ears caught the sound of the wintry wind abrasively thrashing through the trees below his window and against the house. The moments wasted slowly away as he lay there, thinking, being, trying to soak in the delicious feeling of denial and ignorance that was so easily his right then. In Cedric's mind, Cho was gone, school was gone, his parents were even gone. It was just him and Shandie living together in the countryside. He lay there planning out their entire day. First they'd take showers and get dressed, then they'd have a proper Christmas breakfast of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and his mum's apple spice cake, plenty of which was left over from last night's party. Then they'd do dishes and mess around in the kitchen for a while. After they finished cleaning he'd rustle up some proper snow clothing for his guest before finding and donning his own. They'd go out into the hills and run around for hours, playing tag, getting into snowball fights, flying. He'd show her the hills and around all the pivotal tourist stops that were marks of his childhood. Then they'd come home, laughing about their adventures and-

Her sudden stretching gave him a start as she twisted her body this way and that even with his arms around her. Finally he had no choice but to let her go from all the movement she was insisting on making.

"Do you always do that?" he chuckled, as she continued to stretch and yawn.

"Not usually this much, but let's not forget I don't always go to sleep after a full night of strenuous physical activity."

"_Strenuous_?" he made a face, mocking her word choice.

"Indeed." she rubbed her eyes open and leaned over him to peck his mouth softly. "Delightful too."

His hands ran through her dark, messy tresses of hair in an attempt to comb them back somewhat. "Happy Christmas." he murmured.

"Happy Christmas." she recited sincerely, smiling softly down at him. His hand brushed back more of her hair before resting on her cheek. His thumb roved back and forth over her skin absently.

"Last night was your first time, wasn't it?" he asked, already knowing the answer but asking anyway.

"Mhm." she nodded.

"It was mine too."

Shandie smiled, "Yah, I kinda figured. Well, I **_hoped_** anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he cocked a playful eyebrow.

"Sweetheart, you're sixteen. I honestly hope you wouldn't have had a reason to lose your virginity any sooner than that."

He nodded thoughtfully, trying to bring the conversation back around to the original intended subject. The words seemed sticky on his tongue and proved hard to formulate.

"I just wondered…I mean I want to…make sure…"

"I don't regret last night." she helped him out. He grinned sheepishly.

"Really?"

"How could I?" she laughed softly.

"You were crying and I just"-

"Well, I'll be honest: it hurt like a bitch the first time around. But I was fine. I promise you I don't regret it." the room was quiet for a few moments as she swallowed the reality of what they'd done. "What about you?"

"I certainly don't **_regret_** it. I'm just a little overwhelmed by it is all."

Shan nodded in understanding. "I'll need to go home soon." she told him as she checked her watch.

"Why?" the frown on his face cut deep lines along his forehead as he sat up, resting back on his elbows. Discussing leaving Cedric's side in favor of her parents' made her so sick she opted instead at first to lean over him and kiss his mouth deeply. As much as he found himself addicted to her kisses, he soon pushed her away in want of an answer.

"Shan, answer me."

She frowned at him and began going around the room, picking up her clothes.

"Look, my parents are probably already worried sick. I shouldn't have even spent the night, I"-

He came to stand in front of her, halting her movements as well as her speech.

"You said you didn't regret last night."

"I **_don't_** regret sleeping with you. I just feel somewhat guilty. I mean I _always_ let my parents know where I'm going and I just **_left_**."

"Will I see you again?" he stopped her once more as she made to turn towards the fireplace.

"I don't know." she shrugged, "We have school in a few days though, I suppose we'll see each other then, won't we?"

"That's not a few days, that's a **_week_**."

A heavy sigh fell from her lips and suddenly the floor became fascinating to stare at as she massaged her forehead. Cedric couldn't just stand there. He walked around her to his desk and opened a small drawer on the left. From the drawer he withdrew a small velvet box, dark in color and resembling one in which jewelry might be sold.

Lifting her gaze, Shan frowned once more at the sight. Her hand went out slowly when his arm extended to hand it to her.

"What"-

"I was going to give it to you tonight after everyone opened their Christmas gifts downstairs…" he shrugged and buried his hands in his pockets. The small box made an odd, almost crisp noise as it opened for the first time. Inside was a standard size, silver thimble.

"It's made of real silver. I had it made for you by a silversmith in London. I hope you like it." his features held the obvious stance of apprehension, scared that she might not accept such a gift.

Laughing lightly, the dancer before him slowly slipped her arms around him in a hug.

"Thank you." she whispered, kissing his temple.

"So, you like it?" his sideways smile was hopeful.

"I love it!" she grinned, "I can't _believe _you remembered." her eyes shifted back down to the opened box in her hand. "It's really beautiful. I got something for you too you know." He gave her a curious look and she dragged him along to the fireplace, grabbing a pinch of floo powder on the way.

Once they were in her room, Shan immediately went to work shifting papers around on her cluttered desk. Cedric surveyed the room. It looked like a little girl's room that had scarcely been changed since her pre-school years. Light pinks, old fashioned teddy bears in rose colored tutus, a hard wood floor, a white, iron-wrought day bed all illuminated by the weak daylight breaking through thin, white curtains. Her desk and bed were both up against the wall leaving a large amount of space free within the room. One wall was covered by mirror as well as a single dance barre. A set of shelves inlaid beside her bedroom door held dozens of thimbles, all of which seemed to have their own unique voice and story to tell.

Finally, she emerged from the chaos of her desk and produced several written/typed on parchments which had been creased two-fold at some point in their lifetimes.

"What's all this?" he took the papers she presented him with and began to study them. The first was an official document and Cedric's mouth went slack when he read the name at the top of the page: Amelia Prescott.

"It **_can't_** be…Amelia, the same Amelia I knew when I was a younger? The same Amelia who lost her father?"

"I tracked her down." Shandie explained, "She lives in Ottery-St. Catchpole. Her mother remarried two years ago and the whole family's going on brilliantly. See that letter at the bottom? I wrote to her and explained that I knew you. She wants to see you. She's missed you too."

He turned to face her and she wondered if she was imagining a slight, glossy wetness in his eyes.

"I can't believe you did this! I can't even believe…" he threw his arms around her and held her tighter than she could ever remember being held. Her feet even lifted a few inches off the ground.

"I just got the letter a few days ago, I couldn't _wait_ to tell you." she grinned.

"You're incredible, do you know that?" he breathed, staring her dead in the eyes.

"You know, you sort of make me feel like it." she told him whole-heartedly.

"Shandie? Is that you dear? Who're you talking to?" a rickety voice with an Irish ring sounded from the other side of her white-washed door accompanied by a few soft knocks.

"That'll be my grand-da!" she murmured before pushing him over to her fireplace, "Look, you've got to go. If they find you in here in your boxers- and worse **_me_** in your boxers!"

Just after grabbing some floo powder from her mantle he turned and kissed her firmly.

"Shandie?!" her grandfather persisted.

"You've got to go!" she pushed him away with a fixed hand to his bare chest, regretting it immediately afterward because of the feelings and memories it conjured.

"Promise me you'll see me again."

"Cedric!" her harsh whisper was accompanied by an outraged glare.

"Promise!" he stood his ground.

"Fine, I promise, now go!" and with a flash of brilliant green flames, he had gone.

Sighing and running a hand over her face, Shandie made her way to her locked bedroom door. There stood her grandfather on her dad's side, fully dressed and leaning on his cane.

"Sorry Grand-da, I was just getting up."

"Have you been asleep all this time? It's Christmas Mornin'! Get yourself downstairs, we've been waitin' on yeh to open presents for hours!"

"Sorry Grand-da, I'll be right down."

"Alright, be quick though, I think your grandma got me a new flask!" he chuckled as he turned to go. Just before getting all the way around however, he stopped himself, "Say Shan?"

"Yah Grand-da?" she asked, as she rumpled up her bed as discreetly as possible, so as to make it appear slept in. At the last moment before turning around she slipped the box Cedric had given her under her pillow.

"I thought I heard voices commin' from your room."

"I…" Shan frowned as though put out before shrugging, "I honestly don't know. I must have been talking in my sleep from all the excitement. Say, you think there's any possibility of grandma getting **_me _**a flask?" she smiled wryly, being careful to change the subject as she walked from her bedroom to follow her grandfather down stairs.

A hearty laugh echoed down the hall from her grand-da. "I wouldn't be holdin' my breath Shandie love. Though just between you and me, I'll share mine with yeh when she's not looking, eh?"

Shan just smiled and rolled her eyes, "Yah, I'm starting to think the world might be better off if we were all drunk anyways."

A few days later Shan was sitting at her desk trying to understand Arithmancy. Somehow whatever had made sense while studying with Cedric was once more a confusing mess of symbols and Latin. Looking up from her book to allow her eyes a break, she soon realized there was a small brown speck in the cerulean sea of sky stretching from her open window. The "speck", which was quickly becoming an owl, was flying straight for her window with an envelope attached to its leg.

Landing on the wooden window ledge, the owl ruffled it's feathers and lazily stretched its wings while yawning and extending the leg her note was tied to towards her. Bringing her glass of water in front of the sleepy looking owl, Shandie untied her letter and proceeded to read the obviously male scrawl written there:

_Dear Shan,_

_Make good on your promise and meet me in my room tonight around 8. Bring your broom._

_-Cedric _

"Bring my broom?" she frowned at the sky outside her window for a moment before realizing that he wanted to go flying. Rolling her eyes and giving a distraught groan Shan's gaze focused on the brown barn owl that had recently finished clicking and splashing its beak through (what had been) her glass of water.

"Say, you're a pretty good flyer, would you consider going in my place?" she asked the bird. He cocked his head and blinked a few times at her rhetorical question before squawking and ruffling his feathers once more.

"Yes, I suppose that's true. He probably **_would_** notice the difference between us." her sigh melted into a small smile and her eyes turned back down to the letter in her hands. "Well, I _do_miss him, there's no denying that."

The barn owl took a few steps sideways along her window sill, continuing to stare in her general direction while every now and then taking sideways glances around her room.

"You think I should go?" Shan asked her silent friend. A few blinks and what almost looked like a nod later, Shan cracked a smirk. "Alright, it's settled then. Tonight at eight. I guess I can find a broom around here somewhere." she cast a glance over her shoulder towards the banner of the staircase out in the hallway as she wondered if her parents might have a few laying around in a spare closet or shed. Between their muggle upbringings and dance focused jobs, Shandie was almost certain that neither of her parents flew, but she could always hope. And hell, if all else failed, she'd send the bird in her place.

* * *

The evening was still as the bright, full moon lit up the hills like morbidly cold sunlight. Shadows stretched across the snowy landscape and a bitter wind accompanied the two floating figures on their flight. Everything was unbelievably calm and detached up in the sky. The stars seemed light-years closer and the earth behind them seemed pale in comparison. Shandie could feel an absolute solitude and a delicious secrecy flying with Cedric. She loved it and at the same time was frightened by it.

"Hey, your flying's improved." he noted, with a proud look to his smiling eyes.

"Hey, you're not so afraid of the dark anymore." she smiled back softly.

"How was your Christmas?" he asked her after a moment or two of silence. His cheeks were so pale in the moonlight, they looked like porcelain. A deep breath passed through her lungs and she let it out slowly.

"It was alright. My grandparents kept getting into rows with one another, but I'm used to it. Holidays tend to be messy at my house. But you should know that." she offered him a small smirk.

He barely smiled back, "Did you get any good presents?"

"Is this small talk?" she cocked an eyebrow playfully. He looked down at his broom for a minute and chuckled.

"Yah, I think it is."

"Well, if you get to use small talk then I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to be cliché for just a minute."

He gave her an amused look, waiting for her moment of overdramatic, sappy glory.

"The only thing I cared about Christmas morning was that I'd woken up beside you and all I thought about was how good it had felt to not care for a night and just love you."

"I still can't believe we slept together." he mumbled, offering up a smile that said, 'Come on, you know you're thinking it too.'

Shan eyed him for a few tensely silent seconds before giggling lightly, "It's so true. How did that even happen?" she laughed.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "One minute we were dancing and the next, boom-down."

This sent Shandie into a fit of laughter for a good twenty seconds. The peel of her laughs sent him into uncontrollable chuckling as well as he watched her, enamored. He knew how it had happened. He'd fallen in love with her. When just watching her laugh was the best place on earth to be, how could it not have happened?

"I think,…I think somewhere in the back of our minds we knew." he turned to look at her once they'd calmed down.

"We **_knew_**?" her look was painfully obvious, like red graffiti on a white washed wall. "Would you care to elaborate on your theory Dr. Diggory?"

He could tell she wasn't taking him seriously, yet onward he trekked.

"Yah I mean, you came over and we both sort of knew you were spending the night. You can't say you didn't at least **_want _**something to happen."

His company mused on this for a moment. He had a point…

"Yah…yah I can see what your saying. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat hopeful we'd…I don't even know. Of course I wanted to get physical with you…but that hardly means I knew it would happen. I never thought we'd go anywhere serious. And I think you'll agree that this is pretty serious."

He nodded, "Maybe it's just me. I always had this feeling in the back of my mind. I knew I'd gotten in way over my head. How could I not know? Just being with you, looking at you, I knew."

She shook her head, "God, what **_were_** we thinking?"

He frowned at her, "You promised me you didn't regret this."

"It's not regret exactly, just…amazement that we didn't do something, didn't say something, didn't think to"-

"We **_weren't_** thinking. That's why it happened. That's love."

She sighed and turned her gaze upwards, staring at the stars helplessly.

"Do you realize that no matter what we do this is going to hurt us? Even if we stay together, it'll still hurt, you know that don't you? I mean, what are you planning on telling Cho? _Oh sorry love, I've kind of been seeing some one and well, we had sex so it's off between you and me_." she mocked him. "I mean it just doesn't work like that."

"I'd go about it a bit nicer than _that_." he said darkly.

"Yah I **_know_**," she sighed, "But it's the general idea. You're dumping her for me and we've slept together. Everyone in school is going to label me a tramp and you a cheating bastard. Cho and I are in the same house for Christ sakes. Her and her friends would give me hell every day until I graduate. And **_then _**what?"

"What are you saying? That you don't want this? That you're not willing to at least try?"

"I'm saying I'm scared." she admitted, "I'm saying this is going to be difficult because it's not right. But whether it's right or wrong, it's already happening."


	7. The Lines Only Sound Rehearsed

Wow. So, I haven't update since 4-26-06...Craziness. You all probably thought I'd forgotten my baby, huh? Think agaaaain. :)

For everyone that reviewed I cannot thank you enough. I wish I could thank you all individually but this site frowns upon authors being curteous to the faithfull. Just know that you are sincerely loved and this chapter is dedicated, without a doubt, to you all. I love you guys and I hope you enjoy this chap ;)

Peace and Cookies,

-Rachel

**Chapter Seven: The Lines Only Sound Rehearsed After We've Crossed Them**

School life swept them up into its current the day they arrived back at Hogwarts. Quidditch practices, applying to dance academies, prefect's duties, dance practice, Cho, studying for N.E.W.T.'s, and remembering to eat took up all of their free time. Occasionally Shandie would catch a glimpse of Cho and Cedric holding hands in the halls, laughing. It certainly didn't look like either of them were busy. Spitefully she toyed with the possibility that Cedric had just been using her for a good shag or two. Cedric himself wondered why she never smiled at him in the hallways anymore, why she didn't come looking for him at practices. He figured she was too scared to make a move.

Finally, after three weeks, Cedric couldn't stand it anymore. It was a Friday night and he had just gotten off prefect's duties. Knowing everyone in his dorms was probably asleep and anyone still awake certainly wasn't waiting up for _him_, he made his careful way up to the sixth floor and approached the door to a softly lit studio.

Silently, he watched her stretching and contorting her limbs on the floor, trying to cool down after another intense dance session. With amusement in his eyes he realized he was rather disappointed to have missed her work out. Cedric had been captivated from day one by the emotionally charged ebb and flow of her dancing. The way he could **_see_** the music in the fluid movements of her body, the passion and energy that radiated from her skin in waves of heat.

Her stretching ceased and she lay on her back, breathing deeply for a few moments before wiping the sweat from her forehead and getting up.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" she asked, getting up off the floor and heading towards the opposite end of the room from him. As she reached the barre under which she'd left her bag, Cedric discretely closed the door to the room and walked up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist. She froze, surprised by his chest pressing flush up against her back.

"I've missed you." his voice was low in her ear.

Shan stayed quiet for a few moments just soaking up the feeling of him behind her, solid and warm.

"I saw you and Cho walking yesterday. You two seem to be getting on well." She hated herself for letting jealousy get the best of her, but hell, she was only human.

Of course, so was he. Her unexpected comment caused him to sigh deeply over her neck.

"We aren't…She says she thinks it's healthy for us to fight, it's the only way we can ensure proper communication. Rubbish in my opinion. People don't fight wars because it's healthy."

"They don't have _affairs _for the sake of their well beings either." she bit off, turning to face him in spite of herself. She needed to sink back into the warm cover of those gorgeous gray eyes of his.

"Yes they do." he whispered over her lips, kissing her slowly, sensuously.

"Cedric…" she whispered helplessly, feeling herself caving in before he even asked for anything. His finger came up to press over her mouth, hushing her.

"I just got off duty, no one's expecting me back anytime soon…what do you say to a trip to the prefect's bath."

"I'd say you're a very bad influence, but I honestly don't think I can resist you." Her eyes closed again and suddenly all the resentment that had been pent up inside of her slipped out of her mind's grip. His lips molded against hers, pleading his case for him and doing far to good a job for Shan to find it within herself to refuse him.

However, as Cedric wrapped an arm around her waist and began backing up towards the door, she had to break away from him for a moment.

"I need to get my bag," she whispered. Nodding, he let her go. Shandie quickly got her things together before turning to face him. For a moment she just stood there, staring at him almost apologetically. Shaking her head in remorse, she began walking towards him, the weight of their sins making her feel more guilt than she had ever known in her life.

"We're going to hell for this you know." she murmured. "For all the pain we're going to cause."

"I'd like to know what God had in mind for you and I when he introduced us, if not for this." he offered a small smirk and slid an arm around her shoulder. "Here, let me take your bag."

Shandie had never been to the prefect's bathroom before. She knew it was more than just a bathroom, and that more than a few prefects had used it to their own…romantic advantage shall we say. Their stroll led them down to the fifth floor and after Cedric gave the door a password, he took her hand and led her into what looked like a large, old fashioned indoor pool.

Despite herself, Shan began laughing softly as she looked around in amazement. This was too much. Dim candle light reflecting a warm haze off of marble tile, Roman style pillars, cushioned benches built in to the walls.

"You sure know how to romance a girl." she smirked, tucking her hair behind her ears and she looked around. Cedric set her things down in a corner and loosened his tie a little. Breathing became more difficult for both of them as Shandie made her way across the room to his corner.

Cedric couldn't help but still be enamored by her grace, every little move she made seemed heartbreakingly beautiful in his eyes. The irony of it was that his eyes were the most beautiful thing to her then, the only thing she could rock herself to sleep to come nightfall. Over the past few weeks she had wanted to be so angry with him, but so often those gray eyes came back and Shandie found herself unable to stay upset.

Her fingers began gingerly undoing his uniform buttons, ignoring his eyes on her, until Cedric was nearly going mad with longing and leaned down to kiss her firmly. That arrested her attention quite notably and she forgot his buttons altogether. His hands found her waist and cheek, and he moved forward so that his footsteps were slowly forcing her backwards until the cold marble of the walls was flush up against her spine.

The shock of it made her pull half an inch back for a scant second as she gasped, before his mouth smothered the sound. Cedric's hands went to work, trying to figure out how to get her dance attire off. The wrap sweater came off easily enough, but her leotard was a different story. When he couldn't figure out where the damn thing began or her tights ended he finally pulled back, glaring at her body.

Shandie couldn't repress the small giggle that bubbled forth at his helpless, frustrated look. She went back to work on his own button down oxford.

"You should have just been patient and let me undo your clothes first…" she playfully chastised. Her words trailed off as she finished and was reminded of how well sculpted quidditch training kept his stomach and chest. "God above, I missed you more than I realized." she whispered, rising up on her toes to reach his mouth.

As she kissed him, she decided to help them both out and guide his hands to her shoulders where her leotard straps could easily be pushed down. Once he'd gotten the hang of that, she quickly began undoing his belt and khaki trousers, his mouth growing more desperately ardent against her own as his pent up lust for her spilled out around them, like a champagne bottle all shook up.

* * *

Cedric's hair seemed to run through his lover's fingers as she cradled his head in her lap. The pair of them were lounging across a settee, her clad in his oxford, him in his boxers. It was incredibly late but neither of them were willing to give up the sanctuary of being alone with the other. The idea of dawn was hard to imagine at that point, but at least the sun would be rising to the tune of a Saturday. A Saturday devoid of school and responsibilities until noon at the earliest. So they had indulged themselves, talking the way they used to. The way it had been so easy to do before feelings had tangled their heartstrings and intertwined them like vines. 

"What dance studio are you attending in the fall?" he asked.

"Antoinette's." she answered, "In France." she let the last bit hang in the air between them like shattered daylight, knowing he would need time to digest that.

His gaze rose to her own after a few long moments of silence, "God help the French."

That earned him a light smack on the arm and a playfully angry smirk.

"Wrong answer." she pouted down at him.

"Oh? And what was the right answer? That the weight of what you just told me is making it hard to breathe?"

"Maybe you should just save your breath, because I don't know CPR." she said softly.

"You seem to have a good handle on mouth-to-mouth, I'll be alright." he played along. A short silence followed, leaving the pain to grow in the wake of silence.

"We can't keep doing this." Shandie murmured, breaking it. He responded by taking her hand from his head, kissing the palm of it.

"Staying away from each other for weeks at a time? Tell me about it." Cedric grumbled.

"No," she cracked a tired smile, "You know what I mean. We can't keep sleeping together behind Cho's back."

"I've already offered to break up with her." Cedric said, in a defeated tone with a defensive edge.

"I know," she sighed as her hand rubbed his stomach affectionately. "but I've already begged you not to do that. I think it would be healthier if we just stopped seeing each other."

The very idea was painful enough, Shandie shuddered to think how difficult it would be to relive the past three weeks for the rest of her life.

"You just try and get rid of me." he smirked wickedly, holding her hand even closer as he looked up at her with serious eyes, "I'm not going anywhere."

Shandie's smile was short lived and weak. "What's your plan then? Just meet up every now and then and pretend like our feelings for one another are only physical. Because I assure you my love for you goes much more than skin deep."

Cedric sat up, staring Shan in the eyes for a rather long moment.

"You know I feel that way about you too, right? You know this isn't just about sex."

"The problem is: we're _settling_ for just sex. Relationships shouldn't be based on settling." she told him, helpless under his grey gaze.

"If this is the best we can have- this meeting up behind closed doors- I'll take it, Shan. As pathetic as it is, I would rather have any little piece of you possible than none of you at all."

"But you're holding out for something than can never happen. You're giving yourself false hope and that's going to hurt both of us even more in the end. Even if Cho never finds out about us, even if this ends quietly, we're still going to get hurt." she pleaded with him, trying to make him see.

His mouth met hers softly, briefly before he pleaded with her, "Can't you just let me have my denial for now?"

"No." she shook her head slowly, looking him steadily in the eyes. "I won't let you put up a blanket for me. You put one up for Cho and your parents, for the whole God damn school. But I'm not them Cedric. I _am_ your blanket, not someone else to hide from. The minute you start hiding from me the way you hide from them, you've lost me. You've lost what this is all about."

He sighed deeply, "What **_is_** this all about?" It sounded to Shandie as though he was desperate for an answer that covered broader territory than their relationship. It seemed he needed an answer that would tell him why he put up with everyone's bullshit twenty-four-seven.

She leaned forward and took his face in her hands, cupping his cheeks gently, "This is about a boy who just needed someone to talk to, and a girl who wants to listen. Who wanted to let him feel like more than everybody's daydream." Leaning forward, Shandie dropped her hands from his face, wrapping them around his neck as she whispered in his ear, "To let him feel what it was like to have to fight for something beautiful." she pulled away, kissed him softly.

It was then that Cedric realized he was used to having most things handed to him on a silver platter. Girls, many awards, many times even grades. In fact, the more he contemplated it, the more he realized that quidditch was the only genuine thing he had ever been forced to grit his teeth and earn. That and his father's approval.

"It's not that you aren't a hard worker. I know you work hard at everything you want." she assured him in a flirtatious tone, showing off a naughty smirk.

"Maybe some things more than others." he admitted, returning her smirk somewhat sheepishly. Her smile grew and she kissed him softly before continuing.

"My _point_ is: Not many people make you work for the things you want. And I know you like to know that you've earned your rewards. So, I'm not going to make this easy for you. If you want me you're going to have to hurt the same way I do, accept the same realities. Because this _isn't_ perfect, but it's still love."

He nodded, taking her hand in his and leaning back, still facing her.

"Do you love me?" he asked, his voice so earnest it made her heart feel like it was melting into rain.

"Yes." the word was a whisper, sweet on her lips as she closed her eyes and smiled, savoring its truth.

"What does it feel like?" he all but begged. His tone forced her eyelids open and the hunger she saw in his own gray eyes longed for her to tell him in detail just how she felt for him. Shandie knew her answer immediately because she'd been obsessing over it for some time.

"Like water. So deep and full and dense and fluid. So cool and refreshing and powerful. It's like a river running through my entire body. I love you, Cedric. I do."

He couldn't stop the grin that plastered itself, not just on his mouth, but on his entire face. The grin that lit up his eyes and shone from his skin like candlelight.

"I love you too." he let her know, "And it's like cinnamon. And ginger snaps, and hot chocolate. Like tree trunks and broomsticks."

She laughed loudly at his odd explanation, throwing her head back and squeezing his hand ever tighter as she did so.

"What?" he had expressed himself so honestly that he couldn't quite understand what was so funny about his emotional purge. Still, a smirk perked up the side of his mouth as he couldn't be upset with her in the slightest, such was the effect of her laughter as it vibrated through his senses. Yes, he certainly loved her (no matter how funny Shan found it).

"I don't get what any of those things have in common." she was trying to suppress her smile, her laughter, but it _really_ wasn't working. Cedric didn't mind, and he was all too happy to explain his feelings for her in depth.

"Warmth," he told her as he tucked a stray stand of hair behind her ear, "And a sense of home for me, a sense of safety and familiarity. They're all so harmless and lovely. And yet practical too, you have an understated kind of grace that isn't frivolous or trivial. It's something I _need_ in my life."

"Not like pearls." the realization was nearly a question as she looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the flickering candlelight all around them. He could have laughed at her point, remembering that he'd used pearls as an analogy for Cho the first day he'd met Shandie.

"No, _nothing_ like pearls." The urge to laugh was lost as his words came out more sincerely stressed than anything. There was no similarity for him between Ravenclaw's seeker and his little dancer. None whatsoever. The mere idea of comparing them made his stomach churn and he swallowed uncomfortably.

As Cedric's attention wavered from the girl in front of him, he was painstakingly awared once more that there was a world beyond the walls of the prefect's bathroom. A world that would be waiting for them come morning.

The shift in emotions must have come up clear in his features because Shandie's entire demeanor changed. Her back seemed to grow straighter, her eyes more alert, muscles tense.

"We should start heading back, otherwise the sun is going to beat us to our dorms." he told her, just in case he was imaging her intuitive assumptions. His company nodded and both began looking for (and exchanging) their clothing.

Crossing the threshold from the prefect's bath into the hallway felt like stepping out of heaven for both of them. Like being rudely awakened with a pitcher of cold water being dumped all over you. Shandie didn't like to walk with her head down but she couldn't find the strength in herself to keep it up as Cedric walked her back to Ravenclaw tower. She didn't even have the strength to hug him or kiss him goodbye. Her hand simply squeezed his a little tighter as she slipped through the portrait leading into Ravenclaw's deserted common room and left him alone in the shadows of the torch lit hallway.

* * *

A/n: Sad, oui? Well, I hope you liked it. I've already started chapter eight, so the next update surely shouldn't take as long as the last one did! Love you guys and thanks for reading!

-Rach


End file.
